


Beautiful Simplicity

by denimcharlie



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Daddy Kink, Dom Ashton, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Family Member Death, Fluff and Smut, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Violence, Sharing a Bed, Sub OFC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-10 06:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 44,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2014206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denimcharlie/pseuds/denimcharlie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New York City, one damaged, heartbroken woman, one damaged, tormented man.<br/>Can they fix each other before they fully fix themselves.</p><p>Beautiful Simplicity Playlist;<br/>https://player.spotify.com/user/118097512/playlist/7dnfBtPnuFY1BNjWtxeKeF</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're All Mine

The Morning Glory music store on 54th street was always busy, whether it was a squealing preteen looking for the newest 'Justin Bieber' album or a long haired metal head. The doorbell went off signalling that we had a new customer, mine and Gabriella's heads shot round to look at who had entered the shop. It was a guy in a what looked like a very expensive suit, he was attractive, he was about 6 foot, he had mousey-brown wavy hair and beautiful hazel eyes. "We don't sell classical music" Gabriella says obnoxiously, I hated her, she was rude to the customers and to other staff but she could be, she was the bosses daughter. The stranger ignored her and carried on walking towards me. "Do you have any Blink?" He says "Ye-" Gabriella cut me off "we have a new policy, in order to buy a CD you must name at least two members" she was awful. "Tom DeLonge, Mark Hoppus, Travis Barker" he says not looking away from me. Gabriella, obviously shocked that he knew the answer, shuffled off to see how much stock needed to go out. "Sorry about her, she's not my favourite person in the world" I say chuckling "I can see why" he sighs "So what Blink album were you looking for?" I say back reaching under the till to grab the book that had all the albums we had in the stock room. "Well, I'm having a Halloween get together tonight at my house, just me and the others that were in the band and we all love blink, but I want classic 'Enema of the State' blink and they all want newer stuff. What do you suggest" "Enema of the State, great album, but for a party?. I would suggest the greatest hits one,It has all of their best stuff" I say motioning him to follow me to the 'alternative' section "why are you buying a CD anyway?, you don't look the sort" "What do I look like then?" He says laughing "Well, you look like the sort that would download it with your infinite amount of iTunes money and big fancy speaker system" "So judgemental for one so young" he says picking up the CD I had suggested "I'll have you know I am 25 years old" I say confidently "29, and lots of experience" he says winking "Hey, Billie, there are customers waiting, you know" Gabriella says with attitude from the till "I have to go work" I say putting on my puppy dog eyes. "I'll be waiting... Billie " he says stretching his hand out for me to shake "See you in a short while... Stranger" I say taking his hand and shaking it.  
Several CD's down and the familiar black sleeve with 'Blink-182- Greatest Hits' was placed in front of me with a note on it saying 'meet me when you finish work - Ashton - (323) -765-298' I slipped the note into my pocket and scanned the CD "$4 please... Ashton" I say biting my lip  
___________________________________

I called Ashton half an hour after work, I didn't want to seem desperate, we'd agreed to meet at a local coffee shop, why was he so interested in me?. "Hey Stranger" I say from behind Ashton. "Hey, Billie, what would you like" he says smiling at me "Pumpkin latte please" I say to him reaching into my bag to get my purse "Allow me" he says putting his hand on mine "Are you sure?" I say, I hate people offering to buy me things. "It would be my pleasure" he says putting his hand on the small of my back "two pumpkin lattes please" We chatted until they brought us our drinks. "So what do you do?" I says taking a sip of my drink "I'm in the music industry" he says looking at me "I used to be in a band, when I was young" "Oh, what were you called?" I say really interested in his story. "5 seconds of summer" we got quite big, but stuff happened." He says looking glum " we are all still like brothers though, they are the ones who are coming to my party tonight. What about you?" "I live alone with my puppy Cody. I studied law for a year but decided it wasn't for me, and now I work at a music store with a bitch and her dad." I say realising how boring my life is "do you have a theme for tonight?" "Yeah, superheroes. It's been 12 years since our song ‘don’t stop’ was released so it seemed fitting" he says "you are welcome to join us... If you don't mind being around a bunch of guys that is" "I have three older brothers, I'm used it it" I say laughing at his comment "what would I dress up as?" "Wonder-Woman, I guess Pepper Potts classes as a superhero, right?" He says frowning "nothing to slutty though or the guys will wet themselves, especially Mikey” He says laughing “and you’re all mine” he whispers under his breath.  
__________________________________

I spent ages at the local fancy dress store deciding on what to go as and I ended up with a ‘black widow’ costume which was just a super tight black jumpsuit.  
I sent Ashton a text saying I was on my way, almost instantly he replied ‘Okay doll, see you soon xxx" __________________________________  
Frantically unlocking the bedroom door and stepping in, he pushed me against the wall and pressed his lips against mine. "You, are so fucking hot" he mutters kissing and sucking at my neck. Laying down on the bed, he took off the catsuit I was wearing off, revealing her lace underwear. He climbed on top of me. He starts tenderly making his way down from my neck to my prominent hipbones, pulling down my knickers he moistens his fingers and slowly enters his middle finger inside me. Moving his head down to the place I needed him, keeping everything at a teasingly slow pace he starts to rotate his rough tongue around my clit, my breathing starts to become erratic and I start moaning. He enters his middle and index finger into me. He doesn't waste any more time, removing his clothes, erection springing free when he removed his underwear. He slowly pushes himself inside me, eliciting a chesty moan, he picks up the pace, moving in and out of me. Exhaling deeply she mutters "You're so big." “What was that, slut?” “You are so big” Easing himself inside me, he could feel me tightening around him, I was going to come. "Oh my god Ashton" I scream digging my nails into his back orgasm rippling throughout my body. I heard him moaning and I could feel him twitching inside me, increasing his speed, he releases himself on my stomache groaning for the final time that night. Rolling off of me, Ashton deeply exhales. "That was amazing"


	2. Pancakes and Handcuffs

I opened my eyes in a unfamiliar room, it was very modern room, it had all white walls except for the brick wall opposite the bed. This wasn’t my room.  
I heard a loud shout followed by laughing downstairs, I got up, realising I was naked.  
I grabbed the nearest thing and my underwear and went to investigate.  
I opened the door to the room where all the laughing was coming from to see Ashton and his friends from the night before, Luke, Calum and Michael.  
Ashton saw me and ran over to me and wrapping his arms around me.  
“Good Morning beautiful, did you sleep well?”  
“I guess, did we sleep together?” I say whispering so the other guys didn’t hear.  
“Yeah, you gave me consent, we were both drunk” He says “Are you on the pill?”  
“Yes, I have been since Chase” I say realising he didn’t know who Chase was.  
“Mikey made pancakes, do you want some” he asks, leading me towards the kitchen  
“Yes please” I say twiddling my thumbs  
“Hey doll, are you feeling alright?” he says looking concerned  
“Yeah, just worrying”  
“about what?” he says putting the plate down and coming to sit next to me.  
“Did you use protection?”  
“No, but I pulled out, don’t worry babe” he says rubbing my arm “C’mon now the pancakes will be getting cold"  
____________________________________________________________  
“Mmm, these are the best pancakes I’ve ever had” I say between mouthfuls “I need to get home to Cody and then I need to go to work”  
“I’ll take you” he says jumping up, he was very eager.  
“Okay, let me get changed” I say getting up with my plate and walking towards the sink.  
“Michael, come and wash this plate up please” Ashton shouts  
“It’s fine Ash, I can do it” I say  
“No you won’t, let Michael do it” he says grabbing my wrists and pulling me upstairs.  
Pulling the door open to his bedroom he pushes me in  
“Strip” He says, hazel eyes turning darker by the second.  
“Ash” I say in a extremely weak voice  
“Strip whore, let me see your body” he says more assertive than last time.  
I take off his shirt that I found earlier with shaking hands and drop it on the floor and take my underwear off.  
“That’s better, lay down. show me.” he says walking over to the chest of drawers, I hear the clang of metal. What is he doing?  
“Put your arms up” he says walking back to me, handcuffs in hand.  
I put my arms up, unsure of what was going on  
“I’m going to cuff you to the bed” he says palming his bulge through his sweatpants.  
Cuffing me to the bed, he kisses and sucks at my neck  
“Are you ready slut” he whispers nibbling on my earlobe  
“Yes” I say exhaling deeply, I must admit I was pretty turned on.  
“Call me daddy” He mutters out pulling down his sweatpants and boxer-briefs, erection springing free.  
“Yes… Daddy” I stammer.  
“Good girl” he says bed dipping as he kneels on it  
The way he kissed and sucked at my neck made me jolt my hips forwards into his crotch, making him hiss in pleasure.  
He moved his spare hand down between them to palm his hardened length causing him to moan.  
Mine and Ashton’s eyes met for a brief moment, that moment no words were spoken. he knew where he needed to be, where I wanted him most.  
He started to rub his hands over my legs, between my thighs his touch created sparks, my skin was on fire.  
He moistened his fingers still staring at met and slowly enters his middle finger inside me.  
My breathing started to become erratic and I started moaning. He entered another finger into me.  
He slowly pushed himself inside me, eliciting a chesty moan, he picks up the pace, moving in and out of me gently.  
Exhaling deeply I muttered "You're so big, daddy.”  
Easing himself inside of me, I started tightening around him, I was going to come.  
"Ash, daddy" I screamed, back arched as my orgasm rippled throughout my body.  
Ashton felt the warm sensation rising up in his stomach, the feeling cursed through his veins, he increased his speed, he released himself on my stomach groaning still jerking his manhood.  
“You’re all mine." He said breathlessly, panting as we both came down from our highs.


	3. Staff Only

It’d had been a week since I had spoken to Ashton since the morning at his place, I’d never had to deal with someone like him before.

I just got on with my life, ignored his calls, walked Cody and went to work.

“I’m going on my lunch break” Gabriella says to me in a rude voice.

“Yeah whatever” I sigh in a monotone voice.

The bell rang as she left and a few seconds later it rang again.

“What did you forget?” I say not looking up from the shitty game I was playing on my phone.

“You’ve been ignoring me” The familiar husky voice says getting closer to me.

“Hi Mikey” I say looking up at the guy with a lollypop in his mouth, this guy is 28 years old

“Ashton.” I say doing my politest ‘Fuck off’ smile.

“Hey Mikey, why don’t you go and look at all the pop-punk music over there?” Ashton says pointing towards all the Sum 41 and Blink CD’s

“What do you want?” I say shortly towards Ashton.

“Why did you leave me love, I’ve been calling you and texting you” He says running a hand through his wavy hair.

“You handcuffed me to a bed and made me call you daddy” I say slightly quieter so Mikey didn’t hear what I said.

“You weren’t complaining when I was doing it” He says certainly looking into my eyes

“Go away Ashton, you creep me out” I say moving from behind the counter to go in the storeroom, I didn’t need anything but I had to get away from him.

“Do not speak to me like that” He says following me obviously ignoring the ‘Staff Only’ sign above the door.

“Piss off Ashton, did you not read the sign” I shout back at him “unless you are staff you need to go”.

“You couldn’t kick me out babe” He says grabbing my wrist, I tried to break free but he was too strong

“Let go of me Ash” I shout again, I have to admit I was getting pretty turned on.

“Let me see you” he says grabbing the collar of my favourite All Time Low shirt and ripping it straight down the middle

“What the fuck Ashton” I scream, I hate to think what this would’ve sounded like to Mikey.

He reaches round to my back and unclasps my bra and lets it fall to the floor.

“You have a beautiful body” He says moving his head down and taking one on my nipples in his mouth

“Ash… Please stop teasing” I whimper mentally kicking myself for basically melting under his touch.

“You are a little slut aren’t you?” He says against my skin “You’re making Daddy really turned on”

“Fuck me Daddy” I say more assertively than the last time we did this

“Now, you’re going to forgive daddy, , because you are daddy’s good little girl aren’t you?” He says pulling away from me to take off the shirt and the casual suit pants he was wearing.

“Yes” I moan loudly

“Yes what?” He says rubbing at his fully erect manhood.

“Yes. Daddy.” I say quietly

“Are you ready babe?” He says pulling my jeans and knickers down and sitting me on the edge of the counter in the store room

“I am, Daddy.” I say pulling him closer towards me “I want you” I whisper in his ear.

He positions himself at my entrance and thrusts in, I winced in slight pain at his size but pain was soon replaced by pleasure.

“I’m sorry, daddy.” I say moaning “Harder. daddy”.

“Of course, love” he says quickening the pace so hard our skin was slapping together.

“I’m close daddy” I moan running my hands along his abs.

“Let go babe” he says thrusting even faster than before

I let myself go around him, walls clenching tightly around his throbbing member, he was close too

“That’s it babe” he says in a low grunt.

Pulling out he finishes on my stomach

“That was great” He says coming down from his high.

 

“No, you can’t go in there” We hear Mikey scream and ours heads snap in unison towards the door

“Yes, I can. My father is the boss.” We hear Gabriella's snotty voice say to Mikey

I look back to Ashton, who already had got his boxers and suit pants back on.

“Put this on babe, I’ll get you out of this” He says throwing me his shirt

I quickly oblige and find my underwear

“What is going on here?” Gabriella says sternly

“You see the thing is, this girl here” he says pointing at me “came to my house the other week and I scared her and she has been ignoring me and I came here with Mikey and she got super pissed and we basically had an angry fuck” He says smiling politely at Gabriella.

“That is extremely inappropriate, what if a customer had come through, like yourself?’ she says awkwardly

“Well, there is a staff only sign” he says back to her.

“Whatever. Billie, I’m going to have to put you on temporary leave, while we decide where to go with this” she says with a snotty look on her face

“Okay” I says admitting defeat

“I’ll leave you to put your clothes on and then if you leave, that would be appreciated” she says turning around and walking out

“I am so sorry doll” he says walking over to me

“forget the apologies Ashton, how am I going to pay the rent on my apartment and afford food for Cody?” I say close to tears

“I’ll help you out” he said looking like a sad puppy

“I don’t need you're fucking charity” I say pulling my jeans up and walking out followed by Ashton.

“Don’t leave me again love” He says grabbing my arm, managing to break free I shout “We were never together Ashton, leave me alone”

as I run out of the store, before the door shut, I heard Ashton shout “You’re all mine remember”.


	4. Whiskey Scented Apologies

*1 new message (323) 542 986*

‘Hey B, It’s Luke. Ash’s been really bad without you, he’s set up an account to pay for your rent and there is enough on there for you to live on until you get a job, but he is very bad, he’s been getting drunk a lot more than usual and when he does he just says that he misses you and that he wants you back. Anyway get back to me chick, we all miss you xx’

 

I sigh and decide to text him back,

 

‘Hi, It would be lovely to catch up with you guys, do you, mikey and cal wanna come over to mine tonight at about 7?, it’s apartment 25 on 67th street xx’

 

He replied almost instantly,

 

‘See you tonight :) xx”

 

I had three hours to get ready, to make myself look slightly better than my current state, All I’d done for the past week was sit at home watching American Horror Story re-runs and eating noodles.

 

Getting in the shower, I think about everything that had happened over the past few weeks, meeting that mysterious stranger at the record store and then getting drunk at his party with people I knew nothing about and being involved in his fuck-ton of messed up fantasies. I washed my hair and body and got out of the shower to find some clothes that looked better than sweatpants, I decided on my favourite yoga pants and a Fall Out Boy shirt.

 

I did my makeup first not wanting to get anything down me, I got dressed and did my hair. I did loose curls in my hair, knowing that it would probably last about 5 minutes with my hair. It was 7pm when I heard a knock at my door. Surely it couldn't be them? I thought guys we're usually late? I rushed to door for some reason, I didn't really want to see them but I was excited to see them too. I flung open the door to see Ashton eyeing me up and down. I tried to close the door to stop them from coming any further, I didn't want to talk to Ashton after what happened. It was too late for me to try and shut my door Luke had his foot wedged in the door, stopping me from closing it. Cal and Mikey both had their hand pushed against it as an extra weight. There was no way I could get out of it now.

 

"Come in then seeing as I don think I stop you" I couldn't even look at any of them.

 

Luke, Calum and Michael ran straight past me and ran round into my living room. I couldn't see what they were doing in there, the room wasn't open planned like the rest of my apartment, it was the only place which was cornered off. It was my private space . Ashton walked past me, not taking his eyes off me. I felt like he was looking straight through me. He followed the others and walked into my living room. I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of this, there was no backing out now I had to face him.

 

I walked into my living room, a place where I used to be able to relax and now seems to be trapping me. I sat down, I briefly looked up to see the guys sitting down on my long sofa across the room. I looked down twiddling my thumbs, I never felt so trapped in a place that I call home. The silence was awkward and nobody could break it.

"Hey isn't the World Cup on?" Calum's smile was enough to make me crack.

I got up and turned on the TV leaving the guys to watch the World Cup, I didn't feel like watching 2 hours of football so I tried to make up an excuse to get out of my living room.

"I'm just going to check on Cody" I scuffled off before any of the guys could say anything.

I heard the TV getting louder, and a faint sound of footsteps behind me. I wasn't going to check on Cody, I knew that he would be fine and probably asleep.

I ran straight through my bedroom finally getting to the bathroom and locking the door behind me. I fell back against my door, I couldn't hold the emotions in any longer. I felt sick and I could hardly cope, I was shaking inside and out. I was a mess, my makeup was streaming down my face. I couldn't bare to see Ashton. He made me feel so good, everything about him. I'd only known him a few weeks and I felt like really knew him, but at the same time I don't know him he was just a stranger. Only one other person made me feel like this, and that was Chase.

"Billie, are you okay? Can we talk?" Ashton voice startled me, I don't realise how loudly I was crying.

"Leave me alone ash, please" I felt sick just saying his name.

"Billie open the fucking door!" He shouted, Ashton’s voice terrified me, the other boys must have heard him.

"I-I can't" my voice struggled to say words.

"Billie just unlock the door we need to talk, please."

I shuffled round from my position against the bathroom door. I heard the click of the lock on the bathroom door, I moved back against my wall, makeup still running down my face. Ashton opened the door slowly to see where I was but once he saw me crying he swung the door open and crouched down in front of me. He tried to pull me closer but I pushed him away.

"Billie don't do this" Ashton's voice was clearly distraught, he tried to reach for my hand.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me!" I screamed out slapping Ashton's hand away from me.

Ashton shuffled back against my door, his eyes trailed up and down my body.

“Do not look at me like that, you pig. I don't know you. I don't know any of you!" I stood up trying to make Ashton leave.

"Billie can't we just talk?" Ashton also stood up making a step towards me.

"You know what, all of you can leave I don't know any of you. Get out! Get out! Get out, please" I broke out into a small fight with Ashton slapping and pushing him away. I tired myself out within second and with my body still shaking I collapsed into Ashton.

Ashton put both his arms around me, pulling me close and comforting me best he could.

"I-I-I hate you" I couldn't bring myself to say it. My voice was muffled by me leaning against his already tear stained Nirvana top.

I was suddenly picked and carefully placed on my bed. He lifted me up again placing me against my cushions on my bed.

"We need to talk Billie and I need you to hear me out, okay?" Ashton's voice trembled and made me nervous.

"Look Billie the thing is I'm sorry. I want you to listen to me please, just hear me out. I'm sorry okay, I’m not good at apologies, I can't even explain how sorry I am. I can't blame you for thinking that you never really knew me at all. I walked into the shop just planning to buy a CD for the party, I never thought that... well I never thought I'd meet someone that I can't live without. Billie I've know you 3 weeks and honestly you're indescribably amazing . I'm sorry that I handcuffed you to my bed, I know that must have been difficult me restraining you like that. I'm sorry that I ripped your shirt as well. I'm sorry that I came into your work and you've been suspended. I have money for you and Cody, I have enough money to help you out. I got you into this mess in the first place, I’m sorry if that's just offended you. I never wanted to make you feel so small. Look Billie I know we've only known each other a few weeks but you mean a lot to me and I started to worry when you were ignoring me. I got back on the drink, how I used to be. I made Luke text you because I knew you wouldn’t listen to me. I just want to know your okay and please stop crying. It breaks my heart seeing you cry. You told me the other day something about a guy called Chase? What did he do?. Our story is just beginning, i want to get to know you. I’m sorry Billie and you know the main thing I am sorry for? I'm sorry that I told you to strip even though you didn't want to because that was a dick move, that's one thing I don't think I can ever forget. You're beautiful, funny and kind and you're just you. You don't try to be like others or pretend to be different, you make me smile all the time and I feel sick thinking of a day that I won't be with you because you mean so much to me Billie and I think I love you.Now come here, stop crying, I love you okay?”

“I think I love you too” I say still feeling tense in the embrace he was holding me in, “I think I really love you”

Pulling me closer to him I drink in his scent. He smells like alcohol, like whiskey, Luke did say he had been drinking more since I left.

“Ash?” I whisper turning around to face him.

“Yes love?” he says pecking me on the forehead.

“Do you have a drinking problem?” I say confidently

“Not when I’m with you doll” He says nuzzling his face into my neck,

He starts saying something into my neck, He was singing to me.

‘Just know that I'm sorry

I never wanted to make you feel so small

Our story is just beginning

But let the truth break down these walls.

And every time I think of you

I think of how you pushed me through

And show me how much better I could be.

Here I am with all my heart

I hope you understand

I know I let you down

But I'm never gonna make

That mistake again

You brought me closer

To who I really am

Come take my hand

I want the world to see

What you mean to me’

Before I could say anything Mikey burst through the door slightly drunk, obviously having found the beers in my fridge.

“Can we order pizza pleeeease” He says dragging out the ‘please’ like a child would.

“Sure Mike” I say smiling at him before looking back to Ashton

“A 29 year old business man singing disney, now I have seen everything.”


	5. Guilt and Burnt Pancakes

Ashton had been the sweetest guy since the night at my house, he didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to, when we did make love it was passionate and loving, he was really trying hard, for me.  
I'd been quite uneasy about relationships since chase. I remember everything about last night. I know that I cried a lot. I know that Ashton took care of me and didn't take advantage of me, I know that I was wearing Ashton's Nirvana top, which meant only one thing. The pit of my stomach was filling again, just thinking of last night and just knowing that Ashton had probably caressed my body made me feel queasy.  
Looking for my phone to see the time as the curtains were shut I saw a note scrunched up on the dresser, almost falling out of bed I finally reached the note.  
'Probably afternoon when you're reading this! We we didn't want to wake you, hope you two have sorted things! We've gone back to the apartment! X’  
“Morning beautiful, how’re you feeling?” Ashton says from the other side of my room, snapping me from my thoughts.  
“Hey, I’m hungry, how about you?” I say rolling over to see Ashton completely naked standing in front of my full length mirror, his bum on complete display.  
“Like what you see babe?” He says snapping me out of my thoughts once again, I must have been staring at him.  
Moving slightly too left, but still looking at me in the mirror, he stood in full display, I could see his member, it looked bigger in this lighting than it had done before.  
“Will you make me pancakes?” I blurt out trying to avoid answering his questions.  
“Anything for you, doll.” he says turning round and walking towards me “Where’s my morning kiss babe?” he says reaching the bed and leaning over me  
“Here” I say smiling before leaning up to close the gap between our lips.  
This kiss was passionate, it felt different from all the other times we had kissed.  
Grabbing his boxers from the floor he started to walk towards the door he says “I think I love you”  
————————————————————————  
Ashton had been in the kitchen for about half an hour before I decided to go and check on him.  
“Ash?, are you okay” I say walking out of my bedroom in his t-shirt and my underwear.  
“Yeah, babe. Everything is fine, go back to bed” He says anxiously from the kitchen  
“I have to feed Cody anyway” I say approaching the kitchen  
“No, love, it’s all sorted, I’ll do it” He says rushing out of the kitchen towards me.  
“Ash, what’s going on?” I say laughing at him and how much of a state he was  
“Nothing, please go back to bed” He says with his muscular arms blocking the door  
“Ashton.” I say, he knows I’m being really serious now.  
“It wasn’t my fault” He says lifting his arms up surrendering to me.  
I walk in to see smoke coming from the frying pan and crispy pancakes on a plate on the side  
“How can you burn pancakes?” I say laughing  
“I’m really sorry, babe. I just wanted to be nice” He says looking at me with puppy dog eyes.  
“It’s fine, I have you” I say walking to him and hugging him “I think I love you too”  
“I wrote a song when we weren’t talking, I had to get rid of a lot of it, but I like it” He says against my neck “Do you have a guitar?”  
“Yeah, backroom. I was going to sell it because I never bothered learning” I say breaking the hug and leading him to the room”  
Sitting down cross legged on the floor, Ashton got the the guitar and started tuning it.  
“I really missed you, I love writing songs and I did start drinking again, and a lot of the song was nonsense, but I wrote it again and I really like it”  
He starts strumming the first few chords before he starts singing, his voice smooth and easy to listen to.  
‘When we both fall asleep underneath the same sky.  
To the beat of our hearts at the same time.  
So close but so far away.  
She sleeps alone.  
My heart wants to come home.  
I wish I was, I wish I was beside you.  
She lies awake.  
I'm trying to find the words to say.  
I wish I was, I wish I was beside you.’  
“You wrote that?” I say my mouth forming a ‘o’ shape.  
“Yes, I wrote it for you.” He says putting my guitar to the side and reaching to hold my hands, “Sorry I burnt the pancakes love”  
My phone started ringing before I could answer.  
“I’ll get it for you babe” Ashton says jumping up and jogging to bedroom  
I could hear Ashton shouting from the other room and wondered who he could possibly be shouting at in my phone, Chase.  
“Billie is not trash, she is beautiful and she’s with me, so yes, you did she her with ‘another’ guy, that guy was me so deal with it! I am so much better for her than you ever were, okay?” Ashton says down my phone as I get closer to my bedroom.  
“Ash, don’t make things worse” I whisper as I enter the room.  
“It’s fine doll” he says looking straight at me with his big hazel eyes.  
I could hear shouting from the other end of the phone, Chase was always very vocal.  
“Fuck off Chase" his voice raised obviously enraged and hanging up.  
“Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on with you and Chase!?” He says sitting down on my bed  
“No, I can’t” I say walking away to leave the room, tears were threatening to spill over my eyes.  
“Seriously, tell me. I am not fucking joking right now” he says grabbing my wrist.  
“Please, Ash don’t do this” I say turning around  
“I am not having him call you trash down the phone without an explanation"  
"Ash drop it. It doesn't matter okay" I was so close to tears.  
"Fucking tell me! I'm not having him call you and you don't even tell me!" He says moving his arm to the back of his head, his voice raised dramatically.  
I couldn't help but flinch as he moved his arm.  
“Babe, why did you flinch?"  
"It's... I-it's just that Chase" tears gathering in my eyes.  
"Chase what?" Ashton's tone lowered, stopping me from panicking.  
“Chase, he used to… hit me" I say tears spilling over my eyes.  
“What!! Why didn't you ever tell me, fucking hell Billie!" He moved his hands tuning them through his hair pulling on it slightly which made me panic.  
"Well we hardly knew each other and it would be weird me telling you about him" I try to control my tears.  
"What.. what was he like with you?" He pulled reached out to me pulling me closer.  
“He was lovely when we first started dating, then he got more and more controlling and wouldn’t let me see my friends or go to college so I just stayed at his all day and he did this thing…”  
I stopped for a moment, everything just came flooding back to me.  
"Carry on doll, rubbing his hand on my back.  
"Then one night he came home drunk, I had made us dinner and then I went bed and he came in and smashed the plate and came into our bedroom and tried to.. You know... have sex with me but I didn’t want to so he pinned me down and I kicked him, so he hit me.” I say breaking out in a full sob.  
"You should have told me Billie" I would never hit nor would I ever restrain you!" He gripped me tighter but it was soothing.  
“But you did though Ash, that’s why ignored you, you restrained me like he did. Then last night you were shouting me to unlock the door, I-I was scared you'd come and hit me or something"  
“I am so sorry.. I-I” he says filling up “you didn’t deserve any of that, I told you I would never mistreat you"  
“I missed you so much, I knew you weren’t really like that" I say sniffling “Tell me why you are the way you are, you know with the pinning down and the daddy thing" I add trying to get the questions off my mind,  
“Samantha was my first love, she came just at the right time, the band went on hiatus so we’ve never split, we’re a bit like Fall Out Boy and Blink. She was there right when that happened, she was into all the ‘daddy’ stuff and being tied up, but I wasn’t, I loved her too much to not to do what she wanted, I didn't want to lose her so I got into it too, she eventually dumped me when she found someone ‘much better’ than me and that’s when I started on the drink. I would get wasted everyday, I would lose days, I stopped talking to the boys, I stopped everything, until one day I got alcohol poisoning and had to have my stomach pumped, I had to go to rehab, when I got out I got control of my drinking and got in touch with the boys again, got my job back at our record label and slowly got my life on track”  
“Ash, that’s horrible, I’m just so happy you got better. I’m sorry for leaving" I says shuffling closer to him  
“I think I love you” He says rubbing the back of my hair  
“I think I love you too”


	6. I Love Her

“Good morning beautiful” Ashton says before wrapping his arm over me kissing the back of my neck  
“Morning” I say holding his arm close to me.  
“I don’t want to go to work doll, I want to stay here, with you” His voice cracks as he pulls the sheets further around us.  
“You have work, I’ll be fine I think I’m going to watch ‘The Breakfast Club today anyway” I turn over so I can face him, I giggle not being able to keep a straight face.  
“Fuck work, I want to be with yoooou” a little smile creeps across his face as he says that.  
“I know, you look after a loser girlfriend” I nuzzle my face into his chest, ugh I love how he smells in the morning.  
“You’re not a loser!” He kisses my forehead and puts his arm over me again.  
“Go to work you’ll be late” I lightly and playfully push him away.  
“Fine, don’t miss this too much” he moves his hand over his rugged defined torso  
I roll back over and close my eyes, I hear Ashton creeping around my room. He must have been watching me because he didn’t move even when I got up. I chuck my bed sheets off my and walk over to Ashton now in bedroom doorway about to leave.  
“Have a nice day” I wrap my arms around his neck.  
“It’ll be better when I come back to see you” He wraps his arms around my waist closing the gap between us.  
I kiss him softly on his lips before basically having to persuade him to go to work. I still felt pretty tired, I hadn’t woken up at six in morning for a long time, I walked into the kitchen to feed Cody where I then got a glass of water. I walked back into the living room and put my drink on the side before getting my bed sheets and curling up on the sofa whilst the starting credits of The Breakfast Club played around the little room.  
I was disturbed by repeat knocks at the door, I get up and walk to the front door.  
My heart sunk.  
I heard the door slam behind me and I was then thrusted back against the door, my arms pinned above my head restraining me yet again. I’d never felt so isolated before.  
“C-Chase, w-what do you want?” I stutter not feeling comfortable around him.  
“I heard you’ve got a new boyfriend? Where is the loser?” he laughs obviously finding something funny.  
“Yeah I have, he’s 100 times better than you! He’s not a loser and he’s at work” I spit, feeling disgusting to even be around Chase.  
“Oh really, well I guess your all alone then?” he laughs.  
“C-Chase you-“ I was cut off by Chase before I really even started my sentence.  
“Can your boyfriend make you feel as good as this you slut” he places wet kisses down my jawline and neck and starts feeling his hands over my body which was only covered by Ashton’s New Found Glory top that I’d refused to let him wear.  
“Leave me alone, you make me sick, even knowing you touched me makes me feel sick” I couldn’t hold it any longer I knee and push Chase away he quickly comes back.  
He pulls on Ashton’s top, ripping the top so he can now see my bra.  
“Billie you always did know how to send me over the edge.”  
Chase stands in front of me looking down at my barely covered body. I push him away again as he reaches out to hold him.  
“You shouldn’t have done that” He says before smirking at me.  
“Wh-“ I couldn’t finish what I was about to say and I was struggling to breathe.  
Chase had hit me, much worse this time. I fell to the floor, sobbing and curling up in pain. I looked up to see him walking towards the front door.  
I lay on the floor for about ten minutes before I managed to shuffle to the bathroom to be sick, the pain in my stomach was unbelievable, after I clean myself up I walk into my living room and continue watching the film which was about halfway through now.  
I cried and cried to the point I eventually wore myself out and passed out.  
I woke up due to the pain in my stomach, I looked at the clock which read 2:30pm.  
I decided I’d make my bed and wash the dishes. It was about 15 minutes later after I started washing the dishes that I heard footsteps running towards me and a pair of muscular arms wrap around me, I wince in the pain because of the pressure on my stomach.  
Ashton puts me down before he turns me to face him.  
“You okay doll?” His eyes analysing every detail of me.  
“Yeah I’m fine” I lie, I try my hardest to keep serious face.  
“But you cried?” Raising one eyebrow trying to figure me out.  
“You just, surprised me that’s all” Still trying my hardest to keep a straight face.  
“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you doll” he says kissing me on the forehead. “Oh by the way Luke, Calum and Michael are in the living room, I’ve ordered us a takeaway, is that okay?” He got a little nervous waiting for me to reply.  
“Yeah yeah it’s fine” I say not wanting to cause any fuss for the others.  
“Thanks doll you’re amazing” he pulls me closer and I bite my bottom lip not wanting to cry out again.  
We all sit down at the table eating our takeaway, the guys were just telling me about their day and all the boring paperwork they had to fill. They didn’t ask how my day was and I was glad they didn’t because I don’t think that I would be truthfully be able to answer them. I was snapped out my thoughts as I hear someone mumbling.  
“Anyway we best be off, thanks for letting us have diner here,see you next week Ash” Luke mutters as Ashton leads them out, before then closing the front door.  
I collect all the plates and pots and take them to the kitchen, I hear the front door shut and Ashton promptly stood right next to me wrapping his arms around me.  
“Hey babe, I’ve missed you” He mutters.  
I hardly heard what he said as he’s too busy burying his head into my neck. I try to move but it’s pointless.  
“I’ve really missed you today” he mutters again.  
He turned me to rest against him which made my whole body ache. He started moving his hands down the side of my body whilst placing wet kisses along my jaw and neck. I quickly jolt my neck so he stops. He moves from my jaw and neck to lips lightly pressing against them. He runs his hand over my stomach which is covered by a different top. I breathe heavy trying not to give anything away.  
“Okay Billie what’s up?” He pulls away from me, turning me so now facing him.  
“I told you nothing, why?” The tone in my voice obviously gave it away that there was something wrong.  
“Come on Billie, you seem off with me” He doesn’t take his eyes off me for a second.  
I don’t answer him and he put his hand on my stomach moving it further down. I quickly push his hand away, now I’ll have to explain what all that was about.  
“Why can’t I touch your stomach Billie? Are you pregnant?” His tone of voice is obviously concerned.  
“Ash it’s nothing okay?” I turn my head away not able to look at him.  
“Fine I’ll just have to look then” He says before moving his hand to the lower half of my top.  
“Ash, don’t” I say, but by the time I said that he’s looking at huge purple bruise.  
“Billie, what the fuck is that” he says gently running his thumb over it  
“I just bumped it” I say still lying.  
“Enough with fucking lies, okay.” He says staring into my eyes “You do not get bruises like that from ‘bumping’ into things”  
“Chase came round this morning, He was banging on the door so I opened it because I thought it was you and before I could do anything he pinned me to the wall and started kissing me and I tried… I tried to push him off but he was too strong but I managed to kick him and he punched me in the stomach and then I was sick and I just cried on the sofa and then you came home” I say breaking out into a full sob.  
“I’m going to fucking kill him, no-one does that my beautiful girlfriend and get’s away with it” he says kissing me on the forehead and running out of the kitchen and out of the front door.  
Not even 5 minutes later Ashton’s phone buzzed on the table  
*1 new message - Luke*  
‘Hey man, where are you running off too, Is everything okay at home?’  
I decide to text him back before I go and try to find Ashton  
“Hey Luke, It’s Billie, Ash left his phone here, I’ll explain what’s going on another time. Where direction was he headed?” I send back to Luke  
He replied instantly as he had done the other day  
*1 new message - Luke*  
‘He was headed towards Central Park, I hope you’re both okay. He looked like he could have killed someone’

I decide not to text him back, I really needed to find Ashton before he got to Chase, If he was going towards Central Park then I might as well take Cody with me.  
_____________________________________________________________  
I spent 2 hours trekking round Central Park before I saw him, before I saw him sat with back to at big oak tree, as I approached him I could hear him muttering something to himself.  
‘I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her’  
“Ash, How’re you feeling?” I say as Cody runs up to him  
“Hey Buddy” He says rubbing Cody’s back “Hey, Doll” He says getting up and walking over to where I was stood.  
“Ashton, Please tell me that’s not Chase’s blood on your knuckles” I say taking hold of his hands, Cody’s leash on my wrist.  
“It’s mine love, I got half way down the road and realised I didn’t know where he lives, so I came back here but I was still raging so unfortunately the tree got the worst of my anger” He says looking at me sympathetically. “How are you feeling?”  
“I hurt, a lot” I say suddenly remembering the aching on my hip “I’m better now we’re together again” I say letting go of his hands and sitting down on grass.  
“Come and talk to me, about you. The real you.” I say reaching up to take one of his bloody hands.  
He sat down and said “The real me is boring”  
“No-one is boring” I say back to him.  
“Fine” He sighs “My name is Ashton Fletcher Irwin, I was born on the 7th of July 1994”  
“Keep going” I laugh.  
“I was born and lived in Australia until I was 18, I moved with the boys because we had just started getting noticed as a band because, you remember One Direction?”  
“Umm, I think I do” I say trying to remember my youth.  
“We got to tour with them, so we got mega big, which was a change for me, I went from being the weird kid from western Sydney that played drums to the guy that girls idolised in the time space of a few months. We had loads of albums, got like Beatles level famous, we called it off because we needed a break, we needed to get lives, as I told you the other day, we haven’t ‘split’ as such, so we could release stuff again I guess, and then Samantha happened and yeah, I met you” He says starting to well up.  
Before I could say anything he jumped up “Looks like it’s going to rain love”  
Pushing myself up I stumble and almost fall, Ashton manages to catch me  
“Careful babe” He chuckles “Shit, it is actually raining” He says as full torrential rain falls down on to our heads.  
I pick Cody up and zip him into my jumper with me.  
Ashton grabs my hand and starts running.  
“I love you”


	7. We, are endgame

I woke up slightly more confused than I usually would in the morning. My head leaning against Ashton's chest as he ran his hands through my damp hair sending shivers down my spine. Thoughts of last night sprang to my mind remembering that we ran home last night because of the rain. Ashton held Cody drying him off last night whilst I rushed to the room to get my soaked clothes off me. Trying to pull wet skinny jeans off wasn't easy and it didn't help that my floor was wet due to the amount of water running off me. I finally managed to get my jeans off, nearly falling over in the process. I realised it would take ash a while to dry Cody so I decided to take my top off that clung to my body. The rain had made it so much harder to get off and if for stuck around my head, I must have looked like an absolute idiot. I felt a sudden tug on my shirt pulling it away from my head, I looked to see ashton fully admiring my half naked body. I blushed, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the fact that he was staring at my body. I reached over to the bed getting the blanket and wrapping it around my cold body but also to hide it.  
"Don't hide. I think you're beautiful" Ashton hazel eyes just stared into mine.  
"That's what you think. I don't see myself that way." I just looked down I could feel the tears starting to build.  
"What are you talking about you're beautiful" he wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer.  
"You can't say I'm beautiful with this" I dropped the blanket to the floor still being able to see my bruise from chase, but also showing my matching lace bra and underwear.  
He pulled me close again and kissed the top of my head.  
"C'mon, you're cold and I think we need an early night" he lifted me up gently and place me down on my side of the bed before he made his way to the other side, he pulled the quilt up and kissed me again. I rolled forward so I was laying on his chest. He didn't seem to mind as he wrapped his arm around me before I slowly drifted off.  
"Morning beautiful" he looked down at me giving me a reassuring smile  
"Morning" I was still half asleep  
"I have to get up soon I have to go work for 2/3 hours tops" still playing with my hair  
"Okay" I was sad that he had to go to work again but he couldn't stay at home just because of me.  
I sat around for way more than three hours waiting for him to come home, I’d text him about an hour ago asking him if he was okay but there was no reply so I guessed work had been busier than he expected.  
I heard banging on the door and panic set in because Ashton would have let himself in so it wouldn’t have been him. I decide to ignore whoever was knocking.  
“C’mon Billie, open the door” The stranger shouts in a familiar, childish voice, I was fine, It was Michael.  
“Coming” I shout back to him.  
Opening the door I see Michael dressed in a suit, holding a sign that read.  
*Run, baby, run, don’t ever look back, they’ll tear us apart if you give them the chance - We first met on the 30th of October 2024*  
“Mikey, care to explain?” I ask the boy standing in front of me.  
“I can’t yet, follow me” he says grabbing my hand and running down the hallway.  
_________________  
As we approach the tree in Central Park that we were just at yesterday I see another note stuck on it, as we get closer I see Ashton’s scruffy handwriting all over it  
*I think we'll go the distance. I think we're gonna make it. Although this happened so fast, I know that we'll make it last - it was here when I first realised that I can’t imagine my life without you right here next to me*  
“Where to now Mikey?” I ask walking next to the slightly taller boy  
“The record store” He says looking straight ahead  
“I don’t know if I can go in” I say shuffling awkwardly behind him “Am I even allowed? ”  
“The note is outside chick, you don’t need to worry about ” he says turning round and smiling at me.  
The rest of the journey was silent until Mikey’s phone rang  
‘Yeah, she’s fine Ash. We’re at the record store’  
“What did he want?” I say to Michael, hoping he would answer my question.  
“You’ll find out soon, miss impatient” He says laughing.  
When we finally reach the record store, I see a note taped onto the window and a parcel on the floor directly underneath it.  
*Our song has not been sung, so long live us - I owed you a new t-shirt, open the parcel love*  
I reach down to grab the parcel and open it to see an All Time Low shirt exactly the same as the one Ashton had ripped.  
“How did he get this Mike?” I say staring at the ‘A love like war tour 2014’ t-shirt.  
“He has contacts” He says running away from the store.  
Even in my current state of ‘what the fuck is going on here’ I start to jog to reach him.  
“How long do we have now Mike?, I didn’t feed Cody before I came out” I say to Michael slightly out of breath.  
“It’s all been sorted” he says not looking over his shoulder.  
We walked for about 10 minutes before we stopped outside of the coffee shop that Ashton took me to the day we met. Michael lifted up an empty cup and handed it to me. I had to keep twisting the cup to see what Ashton's writing said.  
*Kiss me again, underneath the moonlight, you’re more than a friend. I knew it from the first sight - Two Pumpkin lattes please*  
You couldn't help, but smile at the fact Ashton remembered the order. Before you knew it you were brought from your thoughts.  
"C'mon let's go we don't have long" he grabbed my arm before letting go quickly.  
We ran for about another 5 minutes before Michael finally stopped. Nothing really stuck out in particular to me. I was basically following Michael and reading the cute notes Ash had left me.  
"What have we stopped for Michael?" I was actually confused  
"Look over the road chick" his voice cracked after the run.  
I looked over to see the costume shop I went to before I went to see Ashton. Michael gently grabbed my arm and pulled me over the road to where we stood in front of the shop to see another note. Michael turned away as I read the note which read: *I’m never going down, I’m never giving up, I’m never gonna leave -I told you to not have dressed so slutty*  
I felt my cheeks quickly warm up and I knew they would be a vivid red. I clutched the note and turned around to see Michael laughing at how embarrassed I was.  
This time we walked because we were both out of breath from running. We walked for about 10 minutes before Michael stopped outside Ashton’s place.  
"What's going on Michael?" I was quite confused to why he was dragging me around town.  
"Can you see the note on Ashton's door?" He giggled, obviously because of how confused I was.  
"Yeah" I began to walk toward the door to find out what the note said.  
'At least Michael can make you pancakes'  
I turned round to see Michael admiring my smile over Ashton's note.  
*Isn’t she cra-crazy beautiful?, Isn’t she strange, strange and wonderful?, I think I love her more than I even understand - ready for the fall? *  
I manage to take the note of the door before it opened  
“Hello love” Ashton greets me, dressed in exactly the same suit pants he wore when we first met  
“What’s going on Ash?” I say walking over to his kitchen area.  
“We, are endgame. We both know it. We’ve been royally fucked over in the past, but I believe our hearts knew something that our minds and our bodies didn’t, I knew it was you from the moment I laid eyes on you. We are meant for each other.” Ashton says perfectly before getting down on one knee with a box that looked tiny compared to his big hands  
“Billie Cooper, will you do me the pleasure of becoming Mrs Billie Irwin?” He says smiling at me with his perfectly straight teeth.  
“Yes, of course I will” I say tears spilling over my eyes.  
“I love you”


	8. Irwie

I wake up to a feeling of someone's hands running through my hair. I look up to see Ashton staring right back at me, my head rested on his chest.  
"I guess as fell sleep on the couch doll" his smile instantly reminds me of yesterday.  
I look down to hand to see the engagement ring, instantly smiling. A million thoughts flush through my mind; who's going to give me away? Who will be invited? When will it be? What will the colour scheme be? My dress? Does Ash really want to marry so one who's broken?  
"You okay doll?" Ashton pulls me out I of my thoughts.  
"Yeah sorry I was just thinking about yesterday" a smile clearly visible on my face.  
"You happy with your ring?" He looked kind of nervous.  
"I love it, it’s almost as perfect as you” I couldn't help but smile.  
"Good. You hungry?" He asks  
"Erm, a little" I say not wanting to put him out of his way.  
"Okay, we'll go out for breakfast" he says  
"Why don't we cook something?" I laugh  
"You know I can't cook" he pulls a half smile  
"Let me show you" I say grabbing his hand leading him to his kitchen.  
I quickly leave him standing I front of the cooker as I search his cupboard for food to cook. I see the stuff needed to make pancakes so I decide to him. He just stands watching my like a child it's so cute. After the mess me and Ashton made cooking a d we had finished eating I walk over to where he's sitting on the couch and drop onto him making him jump and he lets out a huge breathe and I laugh.  
"So I was thinking that you know maybe the guys come over and to celebrate?" He has his hand behind he neck he seems so nervous asking me simple questions.  
"Yeah I can't wait! I need to go home and get Cody though" I miss Cody so much and he's so young.  
"It's been sorted don't worry doll" he says running his hands through my hair  
I sigh and walk off from him, but I quickly get spun round by Ashton.  
"Where you running off to doll?" His voice seems rather cross for some reason.  
"We made a mess of the kitchen, I need to shower and get this flour out my hair!" I say pointing to the white powder all over me.  
"I have an idea doll" Ashton's cheeky smile makes my heart do flips.  
“What's that?" I smirk and raise my eyebrows.  
“We shower together, saving water and all that shit” He laughs  
__________

“Let me wash you Ashton” I say squeezing some body wash in my palm “I really love my ring”  
“I’m glad you like it love” He says grinning “you can wash me until I tell you to stop”  
“Okay” I say walking over to to where he was stood on the other side of the shower  
I run my soapy hands gently over his chiseled torso and down both of his arms towards his hands, dropping to my knees I gently massage his legs.  
When I reach around to soap up his bum his hand snap forward to cover himself up  
“Ash, I’ve seen you naked before. why are you covering up?” I say letting my fingers walk up his thigh.  
“You teasing me” he says moving his hands slightly to allow me to peak at his rock hard member.  
“Want me to sort it out for you?” I say resting my hands on top of his big hands  
The doorbell to Ashton’s apartment rang before he could answer  
“fucking hell, you go and answer it babe” He says sighing “I’ve got to sort this out”

walking to the door I suddenly get nervous as to who it could be, it could be Chase, he could have found out where Ashton lives when he isn’t at mine.  
“Ash, open up, It’s Luke” he shouts from behind the door, were all of Ash’s friends so impatient.  
“Hey Luke” I say opening the door to let him in.  
“Hey B, where’s Ash?” He says looking me up and down, I forgot I was only covered by a towel.  
“He’s in the shower but you can’t go in there” I say trying to avoid him asking awkward questions  
“I came to say that Cody is alright and he’s at mine and Mike’s place and that Ashton has to go away on a business-“ He stops speaking halfway through his sentence “Holy shit, are you two engaged? He says staring at the ring on my finger.  
“We are, yes.” I say smiling “That was something we wanted to ask you, do you and the guys want to come over later on, to celebrate and everything”  
“Yeah, I’ll ring the guys and let them know, do you want me to bring Cody with us?” He says awkwardly  
“I’m just gonna check on Ashton” I say excusing myself from the room “Help yourself to a drink” I shout to Luke.  
I walk through Ashton’s bedroom towards his bathroom where I was stopped, my hands were being grabbed by Ashton.  
“You little fucking tease” He whispers in my ear sending shivers down my spine.  
“Luke’s in the kitchen” I say barely managing to speak  
“Luke will have to wait won’t he?” he says still whispering “I’ve not finished with you”  
He starts kissing at my neck and rubbing my breasts over the towel  
“Ash, not now” I moan “Luke is right in the other room”  
“Fucking hell B” he sighs “Later”  
“Later”I turn round to walk of the bedroom when Ashton pulls me back.  
"Ash I said later" sounding a lot harsher than I meant too.  
"Don't you think that you should get dressed before going back out there?" Looking at me with a huge grin on his face.  
“Good point" I say letting out a small laugh.  
We both dry off and get dressed before heading out -into the living room.  
————————————————————————  
We’re soon greeted by a small beige puppy bouncing up to me.  
“Cody, hey buddy" I smile cuddling him “I missed you”  
"Congrats guys" Michael and Calum says walking over to me.  
"Thank you" I say leaving Cody and giving Michael and Calum a hug.  
"So, let's get celebrating Luke shouts.

We all walk into the kitchen grabbing all the drinks the guys brought round and moving back into the living room.  
A few hours later Michael, Calum and myself are extremely drunk, meanwhile Luke and Ashton have only had two drinks so they're basically sober.  
"Let's play truth or daaaare" I say extending out the 'a'  
"I don't think that's a good idea" Luke says noticing how drunk we are.  
"Don't be boring you should've drank more!" I say with a harsh tone.  
A couple questions down Calum actually asks a question.  
"Okay Billie, truth or dare?" Calum says.  
"Erm truth, no no dare please" I say mumbling away.  
"I dare you to tease and get off with Michael" he says giggling.  
Michael's eyes widen and he looks at me with a huge grin.  
"I'm down for that if you are" he laughs.  
"Let's do this" I say sounding rather confident.  
"I don't think-" Ashton says before he gets cut off by Calum.  
"C'mon man loosen up and have some fun! How bad can a game be"  
I get up and walk to Mikey who's sitting on the couch where I sit next to him and slowly walk my hand up the insides of his thigh, seeing his cheeks flush a crimson red. I stand up and then sit down again wrapping my legs over him so we're straddling. His lips crash against mine, his tongue exploring his mouth trying to gain access to my mouth, which I deny teasing him more. I begin to grind my hips against his moving them in a circular motion whilst still kissing him. Mikey then moves his hands to my hips adding more pressure to my movements.  
"Okay, that's enough!" Ashton's voice rippled through.  
I got off Mikey's lap and sit down next to Ash who gives me stern look.  
"Awh does Irwie have a hard on?" Calum says making everyone look towards Ashton's crotch.  
“Irwie's having a hard time" Luke says.  
Everyone except Ashton by now are laughing hysterically.  
"ALRIGHT THAT IS IT, everyone leave!" Ashton voices raises but not loud enough to shout.  
"Alright alright we're leaving" they all get up and leave.  
Michael was last leave to leave, and before I could give Michael a cheeky wave Ashton slammed the door behind them.  
"Bedroom now!" Ashton sternly says.  
As I walk into his bedroom, I hear his voice low and gruff coming from behind me.  
“You do things to me, things only you are supposed to see”  
“I’m sorry Ash” I say quietly, regretting everything that had happened that night.  
“I’m sorry who?” He says staring into my eyes, his hazel eyes dark with lust.  
“I’m sorry…daddy” I correct myself.  
“Take your dress off, I want to see you” He says sternly, still looking in my eyes.  
Can, can you unzip me?” I stutter  
He walks over to me eyes penetrating mine with his stare.  
“Turn” he commands, I’ve kind of missed this Ashton.  
I do as he says and turn so he can unzip me  
“Why do you do this to me?” He whispers as he moves closer to me and starts kissing my neck  
as he pulls my dress down and takes my underwear off I feel him run a finger over the scar on the back of my neck.  
“What’s this love?” he says  
“I had an accident when I was younger, no big deal” I say not wanting to ruin the mood “I need you… daddy”  
“Fucking hell doll” He basically moans “get on the bed”  
I quickly oblige and get onto Ashton’s kingsize bed, memories flooding back of the first time we had gotten this close.  
“I love you so much doll” He says licking his fingers coating them in his saliva, He enters one of his long fingers into me closely followed by a second.  
“This will teach you to stop being a little fucking tease” He says eyes drifting over my naked body.  
“Ash, please” I moan as he moves his fingers inside of me.  
“Who?” I says still pumping his fingers inside me “Don’t me angrier love”  
“Daddy, I want you to fuck me” I say softly “Please”  
“Okay doll” he says taking his fingers out of me and putting them in his mouth swirling them around  
“You taste good love”  
He elicits a chesty moan as he spreads my legs further apart  
“You are crazy beautiful” he says before pushing himself fully into me  
“Daddy” I stutter out.  
“Do you like this, you little slut?’ He says withdrawing himself and slamming into me  
“Shit daddy” I scream so loudly that the people that lived below would definitely be able to hear me.  
I felt myself tightening around him  
“Let go baby” he says as I let my orgasm take over my body.  
Ashton thrusts became sloppier as he came until he stopped and pulled out.  
“I love you doll” he says running a hand through his sweat dampened hair.  
“I love you too”


	9. Old Photos

Waking up in damp sweaty bed sheets seemed to be a normal occurrence nowadays.  
"Well good morning doll" his gruff morning voice was the best thing.  
"Don't you mean afternoon?" I giggled.  
"Wait what?" He quickly turned round and reached for his his phone on his side table. "Shit Billie" he quickly jumped out of the bed, and reached for his suitcase under the king size bed.  
"W-whats wrong?" I was confused as to why he was rushing around so much.  
"I have to go on a business trip, it's only for the weekend but the taxi will he here at 1pm and it's 12:40 now and I didn't pack!" He rushed to ever cupboard and wardrobe grabbing every piece of clothing he could.  
"Oh you should have told me I would've packed our stuff earlier!" I grabbed one of Ashton's tops off the floor and quickly put it over my exposed body.  
"Erm, it's only a one person trip... I only need to get some papers for us to sign, I might not even need to be there a weekend, I'll be home as soon as possible" I could tell he felt bad telling me.  
"Oh.. Okay, anyway let me help you pack" I said quickly grabbing his clothes and packing them a lot better than Ashton.  
About ten minutes later his bag was packed he had the quickest shower I've ever known and was ready, no sooner was he ready the buzzer rang.  
"Taxi for Mr Irwin" the voice rattled.  
Ashton got his bag and headed out the front door handing the old taxi driver his luggage before he turned towards me engulfing me in a hug, picking me up and hugging me.  
"I'm going to miss you" a small tear ran down my face realising this was the first time since we had become ‘official’ that he’d been away.  
"Hey less of the tears! I have something I need you to do" he didn't take his eyes off me.  
"Okay?" I mumbled  
"I want you to have moved in by the time I get back, okay?" The smile on his face was enough to let me know he was serious.  
“Yes, of course" I quickly hugged him even tighter but had to let go to let him go.  
"I'll be back soon okay, I love you" and with that he kissed me and got into the taxi.  
"I love you too" I said but he was already gone.  
I quickly turned to go back into the apartment and grabbed my phone off the table and text Luke.  
'Hey Luke want to help me move into Ashton's? x'  
I was actually so excited to move in with Ash.  
'Yes of course, I'll be there in 2 minutes!x'  
And here he was 2 minutes later here to help me move, we quickly got to mine and finally had all my stuff in Luke's car would hold which luckily was most of my stuff, seeing as my apartment was already furnished when I moved the big stuff would stay there which was okay with me. I looked around my apartment and saw an old photo box, I was brought out of my thoughts from Luke mumbling something.  
"Sorry what I completely zoned out" I said  
“I’ll wait in the car B” Luke says walking towards the door  
“I only need a few more things and then i’ll be out” I shout to him as he shuts the door.  
I spent the next 5 minutes staring at old photos of my family, we were the perfect family, 2 loving parents, 4 kids who never fought sitting in the warm Idaho sun, the accident ruined that, crushed our hearts, we were no longer a perfect family, no parents, 4 kids, broken, alone, damaged goods.  
I was snapped out my thoughts by someone knocking on the door, it was probably Luke.  
“I’m fine Luke” I shout walking towards the door  
“Who’s Luke?, I’m sure Ashton would love to know that you’re cheating on him”  
It was Chase.  
“Piss off Chase, we’re long over” I shout not letting him in  
“Let me in right now Billie or I swear to god, I will fucking kill you” He shouts through the tiny crack of open door.  
I hesitantly open the door, immediately backing away  
“I heard you got engaged” He says grabbing my throat.  
“I - I did” I say managing to choke out a small sob  
“I take it Ashton knows you are cheating” He spits  
“I’m not, Luke- Luke is helping me move” I cry out, hoping someone would hear me  
“And why are you moving?, Are you trying to get away from me?” He says tightening his grip on my neck.  
“I-I’m moving be-because I need to start again” I cry.  
"New start from what Billie? Me? You know you can never get away from me!" His grip tightened around my next to a point where I was struggling to breathe.  
"Cha- s-stop" was all I could manage to say.  
And with that I was dropped to floor, curled up struggling to breathe. I could have been sick, being in Chase's presence scared me.  
I looked around to see him walk around my now half empty apartment, I could make a shot for the door and he wouldn't be able to get me once I'm outside. I looked around to see Chase not in the room and I quickly got up and made my way to the door, which I was quickly pulled away from, the force knocking me to the floor.  
"Where the fuck are you going Billie? Nobody can save you" his voice rattled, scaring me so much more than before.  
"I-I wa-" I was quickly stopped by his rough hand grabbing my throat once again.  
His corse hands ran up and down my body as he kneeled over my body stuck to the floor, his touch made me cry inside. I hated him.  
"You're wearing far too much Billie, you know I know I want" he spat out his venom conflicting pain to very centre of me.  
"No" I refused to let his control me again.  
"Don't talk back Billie, it never suited you. Now let's see what's under this pretty little dress" his rough hands tore my dress away revealing my bra and underwear, I felt sick I knew what he wanted.  
"Oh Billie you are such a treat" he leaned over me running his hands over me and kissing my neck, his touch slowly killing me.  
"H-help me" I whispered voice cracking.  
"Nobody can help you now"  
I closed my eyes and prepared for the worst when a large force was pushed off me and a large bang fell after.  
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!" I recognised that voice, Luke.  
I opened my eyes to see Luke standing over Chase on the floor, basically beating him to death. I quickly got up and ran over to Luke.  
"LUKE STOP!" He ignored me and punched away. "Luke. Stop please" this time he heard me and just looked at me, pulling his large jacket off and wrapping it around my exposed body which I forgot all about.  
He grabbed Chase basically throwing him out the door, yelling him to stay away from me otherwise he wouldn't stop.  
Once Luke had gotten rid of him he ran over to me, wrapping his strong arms around me.  
"Luke, I-I. Thank you" I could hardly talk I was sobbing that much.  
"Billie, I'm sorry I didn't come upstairs sooner" even Luke let out a small sob.  
"Luke- he was going to- to-" I couldn't even finish my sentence I felt so sick.  
"Come on I think we should go home" Luke pulled me up, zipping the jacket up that now covered my body whilst grabbing the last box, finally getting everything in the car and leaving that death trap of an apartment.  
Once we got to Ashton's Luke just pulled me into the apartment and sat me on the couch and hugged me tightly, I grabbed hold of Luke's top, all I could feel was Chase. I had no more tears left in me as Luke's top basically soaked from all the tears, I looked up to see Luke staring at me  
“Why are you staring?” I say suddenly getting really self conscious  
“I’m so glad Ashton found you, you make him so happy.” He says smiling “Wanna watch a movie?”  
“Sure, make sure it’s funny though” I smile weakly at him  
getting up he walks over to Ashton’s TV and chooses a DVD, he sits back down, letting me cuddle up to him again as the opening credits of ‘Shaun of the Dead’ start to play  
“I hope you enjoy people who can quote movies” He says laughing at himself.


	10. IHOP and Tragedy

Today was the day Ashton came home, it had been a long weekend without him but Luke had stayed with me the whole weekend, he was lovely company but I just wanted to be alone after the encounter with Chase at my old apartment. I guess he was just always wanting to protect me.

“Hey Luke, do you want me to make some breakfast or do you want to go out?” I shout into the living room.

“Can we go to IHOP?, I’ll call Mike and Cal and we’ll go together” He shouts back to me

“We can, I’m just gonna have a shower and get ready” I shout closing the door

I was prepared to step in the shower when my phone beeped telling me I had a text.

*Hey doll, I’ll be home soon. There’s been an accident on the highway. It looks pretty brutal*

I decide not to text him back as I was already behind time and I didn’t want to make the guys wait

I quickly washed and dried myself off tying my wet hair into a messy bun before getting changed. I walked out into mine and Ashton’s room and dried my hair as fast as I could and applied a small amount of make up so I looked presentable to go outside. I was met by Luke. Calum and Michael sitting in the living room watching TV I swear all they do is watch TV and play video games.

“So are we going out or do you three want to stay here and watch TV?” I slightly laugh, I had to pretend to be happy, and I didn’t want anyone else to find out what happened.

“Hey don’t blame us we’ve been waiting for your slow ass to get ready” Michael jokingly says

“Let’s go I’m starving” Luke says pulling us all out of the apartment.

We took Michael’s car to IHOP where we ordered our breakfast and we all knew what we wanted, pancakes.

The biggest stack of red velvet pancakes arrived for us all and let’s just say they did not exist for much longer.

“I don’t think those pancakes were as good as the ones you make Michael” I say taking my back trying to do away with the taste.

“Nobody can beat my pancakes” Michael says gloating

“Agreed” We all knew that nobody else’s pancakes would ever come close to tasting as good as Michael’s did.

It was about 10:30am when we left IHOP, the waitress who served us seemed to be amazed when she collected our tray which was empty, but I mean who wouldn’t be tempted by pancakes. They all paid for the meal but refused to make me pay for any part of it which I hated because I hate others buying me things. We all slowly made it back to Michael’s car, the heaviness of the meal had hit us full force, and we were so full. A few random questions, mainly about what had happened the other night, we finally got back to the apartment, I was first to get out grabbing my keys out my pocket letting us all in. Something seemed different as I led the way, everything looked cleaner.

“Doll is that you?” I know that voice, oh God how I missed it.

“Ash? Oh my God, Ash!” I couldn’t believe he was home, I missed him so much and I wanted to be wrapped up in his arms.

“I’ve been texting you, I thought you’d left me”, he says doing a cute pout.

“No, we all went IHOP and my phone was in my pocket. I’m sorry” I say squeezing him tighter.

I heard a few footprints behind me and was quickly met by other arms, group hug. It was strange to think that grown men hug and miss each other but they seem so close.

“Hey guys there’s some paperwork that needs to be read and signed” Ashton said pointing toward the table.

The guys all stopped the group hug and went to the table picking up a large amount of paper work, they all let out faint moans clearly not happy with the amount they have to read and I did let out a small laugh. They all walked over again resuming the group where they pulled away moments later.

“C’mon guys we best leave the two love birds alone for a while and tackle our way through this paperwork” Calum mumbles leaving the apartment quickly followed by Michael and Luke closing the door behind him.

 

I turned and looked straight back to Ash. I missed him I really did. I felt so safe and happy when Ash was around I didn’t have to worry about anything I knew he would protect me, I mean yeah I felt safe with the guys but I wasn’t as close with them as I was with Ashton so it wasn’t the same. I forgot about Chase when I was with Ash he made me remember all the good memories instead of all the bad ones. Ash was one hell of an angel and I loved him a whole lot more than he would ever know.

 

“I missed you a lot” I say fighting tears that wanted to fall.

“I know, I missed you so much too! I would have been home sooner, but there was a really bad accident it looked really bad the car was crushed and there was debris everywhere” he told me and I couldn’t help but hope that whoever was in the car was okay.

I was brought out of my thoughts by my annoying phone ringing in my pocket, I unhooked my arms from Ashton’s and answered my phone without even checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” I said

“Billie I need to tell you something and I don’t know how you’re going to react but I need you to understand what’s happened and I need you to try and stay as calm as you can and don’t collapse or something, okay?” My brother James said

“Erm okay?” His tone of voice was actually worrying me.

“Okay so the police phoned me a few minutes ago to tell me that Aaron was in a car accident on the highway and-and that he was taken to the hospital but-but, I don’t know how to tell you this Billie but” he briefly stopped fighting back the tears. “He didn’t make it, he was pronounced dead at the hospital” I didn’t know what to say, my knees no longer supported my body weight and just collapsed around me, helping me suddenly fall to the floor. Tears cascaded down my face. This wasn’t real, I didn’t just hear that. It’s all a really bad nightmare, I’ll wake up soon.

 

“What’s wrong love?” Ashton says dropping to his knees and wiping my eyes as best he could “ Speak to me Billie”

“My brother” I say losing my breath from crying so much “is… was in that car wreck” I say wrapping my arms around him.

“Fuck, Billie. It will be alright” He says accepting my arms around him.

“There’s only three of us left Ash, there’s something twisted in my family” I say wiping my eyes on his shirt, which was now obviously covered in mascara.

“What do you mean? He says in a confused tone.

“My family, it’s fucked up, First my parents, now Aaron.” I say stifling a sob “Who’s next Ash?, Is it me?”

“Hey doll, c’mon look at me” He says pulling my face up “I won’t let anything happen to you”

“I need to see James” I sniffle “I need to see Alex”

“We’ll go and get them love, they can stay here” He says rubbing my back


	11. Revelations

Ashton woke up at 7:30 am as he had done everyday this week, whereas I on the other hand had awoken at 2:30 am every morning, I put on my bravest face as he came stumbling into his kitchen rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“Good morning love, sleep well?” He says sitting down at the breakfast bar.

“I did” I lie “how about you?”

“mmm, I slept good, thank you” He says “What marvellous creation have you made this morning doll?” 

“I found the waffle iron in the cupboard earlier” I say picking up a plate and turning on my heels to give him a plate.

“Earlier?, are you sleeping alright?” he says looking at me, face full of worry.

“Yeah, I meant earlier as in like when I woke up” I lie yet again 

“our secretary at work has started maternity leave today” he says filling his mouth with a waffle “do you want to help out for a bit?”

“Ash. You know as much as anybody that I would love to spend all day with you, but I can’t, I’m still grieving” I say not lying unlike the last two times I had spoken this morning.

Ashton pushes his half eaten waffles away from himself and stands up, the waistband on his boxers falling down slightly.

“Love, you need to put your mind off it for awhile, it’s making you different, toward me” He says walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist “You’re distant, you aren’t yourself, You’ve gotta get out”

“Okay, I guess it wouldn’t hurt” I sigh hugging himself “Let’s walk though”

 

It was 9:30 by the time we got to the big high rise building with ‘Hi or Hey Records’ on the front of it.

“woah, I’ve walked past here so many times and never realised how tall it is” I say stretching my neck back to look up to the top the building.

“I have a meeting at 11:30, then me and the guys are going to do some recording but after that i’ll come and find you and we can go out and get some lunch if you want” he says putting his hand on my back pushing me slightly towards to doors

 

“Ash, I can’t go to lunch, I can’t mask all the emotions I am feeling right now. I want to go home” I say quietly as Ashton wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead.

“We can go home soon love, I have some paperwork to do and then we can go home if you want” He says removing his arms and staring into eyes.

“No, I want to go home to Idaho, I want to see my brothers, I need to see them” I say tears threatening to spill over my eyes.

“We can do that doll, we’ll go back to mine now, it was selfish of me to ask you to come here, I’m sorry” He says pulling his phone out from his pocket

“You have work to do, you can’t just leave” I sigh

“I’m one of the CEO’s of a record label, I tell them what to do, I’ll do the paperwork another time.” He says “We’ll go home and we’ll book flights to Idaho for as soon as possible, okay?”

“Okay” I say smiling.

——————

 

“Doll, why are you still awake?” I hear Ashton mutter from behind me “What time is it?”

“Probably about 2am now” I say not looking back from the big sheepskin rug where I was surrounded by old photos

“Come on, come back to bed” He sighs walking over too me “Who are these people?”

“Well, this one is of me and James when we were first born” I say passing him a photo of two tiny little babies “He always hated the fact I was 2 minutes older than him, he doesn’t really care much now, the drugs changed him."

“I didn’t know you had a twin” He says sitting opposite me on the floor

“He isn’t really a twin, I mean he hasn’t acted like one for a long time” I say picking up another photo and passing it to Ashton “This is Alex, he’s the oldest, this was taken when Aaron was first born, mom always used to tell me stories about how Alex technically named Aaron for them because he used to love this old show and his favourite character was called Aaron so when mom and dad explained he was going have a little brother he just called my moms stomach Aaron until he was born” I say laughing at my mental image of a 4 year old Alex.

“and he lives in Idaho?” Ashton says picking up the photo of the whole family sitting on the front porch of our old house.

“Yeah, we all lived there until a few years ago, but Alex was the only one who stayed after the accident, he had a wife and kid at that time so he had already settled but me, Aaron and James could bare living there anymore” I say tearing up

“What accident love?” He says putting the photos down and reaching for my hands “Is that where the scar is from?”

“Yeah, um, a few years ago we had a really bad flood season in Idaho and this night the family decided to go out to eat and when we were driving back a truck” I say tears spilling over my eyes “A truck swerved and smashed into the car, my parents were killed instantly and then James moved to LA and got in with the wrong crowd and literally abused drugs for like 3 years but then he accidentally got a girl pregnant so he had to get clean, Aaron went off Baltimore to study and I came here” 

“Love, that’s awful” He says patting his lap telling me to sit there “I love you”

“I love you too” I say sniffing.

“We should go to bed doll, I’m here with you. You have nothing to worry about, I won’t let anything hurt you.”


	12. Pills and 80's Movies

I laid there at staring at the pale white ceiling that resembled the colour of my skin, somehow time went a lot quicker than I hoped. My eyes drifted away from the gaze of the ceiling and out to the pale pink sky slowly turning blue that painted above the city that began to wake,  
4:30am,  
6:05am  
Then finally 7:30am.  
I looked over to see Ashton peacefully asleep. I wish that I could be without all these voices in my head. I laid down on the bed, and closed my eyes so when Ashton woke up it would look like I had slept when really I never did. I heard a shuffle in the bed and slowly opened my eyes to see Ash waking up.  
“Morning doll” his groggy morning voice mumbled.  
“Morning” I tried to sound somewhat sleepy.  
“Sleep well?” he questions.  
“Yeah” I quickly state trying to convince him.  
“Do you want breakfast?” he asks.  
“Please” I state.

Ashton had spent 5 minutes in the kitchen before he appeared in the doorway with a tray of bacon.

“I made you a doctors appointment love, you need to see someone” He says passing me the tray  
“I’m fine Ash, really” I say looking down at the food, it looked so nice and Ashton had obviously tried really hard to not cremate it, but I couldn’t eat it, I couldn’t eat anything.  
“I can tell you aren’t, your eyes don’t sparkle the way they did when I first saw you, you’re not sleeping, you are not the same girl I fell in love with, I want you to get better, I want to help you get better” He says sitting on the end of the bed. 

 

Ashton and I sat in the waiting room of a really up market doctors surgery which was mostly empty apart from the odd few people scattered around. I didn't really know how to feel. All I knew was that I'm fading, fading away from everything and everyone.  
I wanted these voices out my head gone, I wanted to stop having anxiety attacks and most of all I wanted to be able to close my eyes and sleep instead of seeing replays of the accident, my brother and chase.  
Ashton's means everything to me but I can feel him leaving me. Nobody wants someone this broken.  
“Miss Cooper” a soothing female voice announced.  
I turned to Ashton to see as much fear in his that was probably filled in mine too.  
“I want you to come with me, please” I begged.  
“You sure?” he questioned.  
“I need you. I-I'll need you to explain some things” I struggle to speak, it's going to be so hard to explain what's happened to someone that doesn't understand.  
Ashton just nodded and followed me to the lady to the small room with a small table in the corner and two chairs in front of it.  
“Please, sit” her comforting voice spoke once again.  
We both sat and waited for her to speak. I looked around at the walls covered in plaques and awards.  
“Hello Miss Cooper, my names Doctor Cooke, how may I assist you?” She spoke.  
“I-I” I stopped, looking at Ash before looking down at the floor.  
“She's been having trouble sleeping and she's having panic attacks. She-she's" he stopped to grab hold of my hand rubbing circles on my hand. He couldn't go on, I'm not surprised.  
“I lost my brother quite recently and I'm just struggling to cope with things and sleep” I manage to say.  
______

We head out of the doctors Ashton leading me down the street and down towards Central Park. I'd been given a month's worth of sleeping pills and some other coloured pills to help calm my anxiety down, seems like pills and Ashton were the only things that could help me now.  
“I'm proud of you” Ashton blurts out.  
“What? Why?” I question.  
“You went to the doctors and you got help. I'm happy” he smiled rubbing circles on my hand with his thumb.  
I just let out a small laugh not knowing how to reply. I felt like I now had to play happy just to keep Ashton happy.  
We got to Central Park walking along the path covered by trees and falling leaves. The park was filled with dog walkers, teenagers, couples, children and people doing exercise, all people plagued with happiness. I looked out to a group of people laughing and pushing each other around.  
My heart stopped when I saw him. No it couldn't be. Chase. I stopped dead in my tracks leaving Ashton to forcefully stop.  
“Billie what's wrong?” he says placing his hands around my face making me stare into his eyes.  
“C-Ch-" I say before being cut off.  
“Chase?” he asks.  
I just nod, to which he looks around scanning the entire park. At this point, my breathing was erratic I started chocking on my tears, Ashton soon turned to me once again.  
“Billie come and sit down a minute” he says pulling me away from the path and down past a few people and down to a old tree where I fell against it.  
When I finally found my way onto the grass. Ashton turned me so I was facing him before placing both his hands on my face making me look into his hazel eyes.  
“Billie" I continued to struggle to breathe. “Billie! I want you to listen to me!" I focussed on on his eyes. "Okay I want you to breathe with me. Breathe in, and out, in and out" my breathing began to calm, he brought his hands up to my face wiping away the tears.  
“Billie what you saw, it- it wasn't Chase, he's not here” he says.  
“ I saw him! I know I did!” I say raising my voice a little.  
“Billie, I need you to focus. Look around, do you still see him?” he asks.  
I quickly scan the park to see him nowhere in sight, just like he vanished off the face of the earth.  
“He's gone” I say in amazement.  
“Let's go home, have a night in yeah?” He says before holding my hand again, and giving me a kiss on the cheek.  
“Yeah okay” I say back.

—————————

“Love, are you okay?” Ashton says as he walks through the door to his bedroom to see me sitting on his bed with one of his band shirts on.  
“I’m sorry” I say not looking at him  
“Why are you sorry doll?” He says walking over to the bed.  
“I’m a tragic excuse for a girlfriend” I say looking at him tears filling my eyes.  
“Listen to me, you are perfect to me, you’re having troubles and you’re dealing with them like any normal person would” he says holding my hands. “Can I tell you a story? ”  
“I guess” I say avoiding his gaze  
“When Samantha broke up with me I took it really hard” He says  
“Yeah, I know” I says back to him  
“No, I haven’t told you everything” He says blinking back tears “When we split I took it really hard and I couldn’t see anyway out so I turned to the drink, I should be dead with the amount I drank, I lost days, weeks to it, I spent most of my earnings from the band and the label on booze, I could drink crazy amounts of Whiskey in really short spaces of time and then one day I decided it was enough. I stood on the balcony in the living room looking over at the city and I would’ve jumped if it wasn’t for the guys walking in, they made me go to counselling but they were shit so I went to rehab for 3 months to sort out my addiction and then I went to the psychiatric hospital on 34th street for another 3 months because of the suicide attempt” He says sighing deeply, he loosened his grip on my hands as soon as he realised how tightly he was squeezing my hands.  
"Ash, I thought you got alcohol poisoning" I whisper "I lied, I thought you would think I was weak" he says wiping away a tear that had escaped his eye. "I have a special treat for you in the living room" He says quickly changing the subject. 

Entering the living room I see Ashton has set up the sofa with loads of blankets and cushions, my eyes gaze over to the TV where I saw the title screen of The Breakfast Club playing.  
“How did you know?” I say to Ashton  
“You sleepwalk love, all you ever say is lines from it and how much you want to give me head” He says laughing “Except disappointingly enough you never say the last one”  
“Thank you” I say looking at him and smiling for the first time in what felt like forever.  
“When you smile, you light up my whole world” He says before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my lips “Screws fall out all the time. The world is an imperfect place.”3


	13. Whiskey Scented Confessions

We had been in Idaho for a week before Aaron’s funeral. I didn't need to pretend around my brothers, they knew how I was feeling, they knew about how I’d met Ashton, about Chase attacking me and the proposal. The only thing they didn’t know about the fact that not only was I on anxiety pills and sleeping tablets but that I was taking more than I should, I knew I shouldn’t but it was helping the pain, the sadness I was feeling.

“Are you ready love?” Ashton says taking hold of my hand.  
“No, I’ll never be ready say goodbye to my brother but I have too” I say avoiding his gaze.  
—————  
“We have a few words from Aaron’s siblings” the funeral director says as Alex and James walk up to the podium dressed in black suits.  
“Billie, it’s time for you to go up” Ashton whispers snapping me out of my thoughts  
“I love you” I say kissing him on the cheek and standing up to join my brothers at the podium.

“Our brother was a great man, he was the strongest out of all of us when our parents died, a lot of people thought he was being selfish when he moved but we know he wasn’t it was his way of coping” My oldest brother Alex says passing the piece of paper on to James, my twin.  
“Aaron helped me get clean, it’s a strange thing to say at a funeral but without him I would most certainly be either drugged up under some bridge or dead, without him I wouldn’t even know my little girl” he said passing the note me  
Taking a deep breath to stop the feeling that I was either going to vomit or pass out  
“Aaron was one of my best friends, I would be in the same position as James if Aaron hadn’t saved me, most of you remember Chase and are probably wondering why I’m here with someone else, Chase abused me, without Aaron he probably would have ended up killing me. Without Aaron I wouldn’t have had the balls to leave him and we may not all have a perfect life but sometimes that’s the way the world works. Me and Ashton are fixing up my life, I would give anything for them to have met, James has his little family going on and Alex has the most beautiful wife and children, none of this would have been possible if we didn’t have Aaron.” I finish people surrounding us with applause.   
I look over to Ashton to see him mouthing ‘I love you’ and doing his school girl grin showing off his dimples.  
——————

“So, Ashton, what do you do for work” Alex says as Ashton sits on the carpeted floor with Emmi, Alex’s youngest daughter.  
“I’m CEO of a record label with my best friends, we used to be in a band you see” Ashton says back still playing princesses with Emmi.  
“That’s cool. Nice to know my sister isn't with a control freak anymore” Alex says as he gets up and walks towards the kitchen.  
“Hey Emmi, shall we ask Billie if she wants to play princesses with us?” Ashton, says looking at me with puppy dog eyes, he was really patient with her, it made me smile a little smile when I saw how good he was with her.

——————

Six hours had quickly passed and we spent it well I guess, we spoke about Aaron and us growing up until the accident and about what we had been doing in the years apart. We all stayed at the same place seeing as it would be easier for now, Alex and James kids had all gone to sleep seeing as it was 11, I tried numerous times to get away from them all and go sleep but I couldn't, it was hard to make up lies to family and ashton without then noticing.  
"Hey guys I'm gonna go sleep now" I say leaving my drink on the side. We couldn't drink anything alcoholic seeing as Ashton had been T-total for so long and then seeing as James has also had a problem.  
"You okay Billie?" Ash says leaning over and whispering to me to which I just nod.  
"You can't go yet? The nights young" James says.  
"I'm really tired and I don't really feel like staying up" I say fake yawning.  
"Alright then, night" James says.  
"Night" ash and Alex say at the same time.  
I quickly walk into the kitchen hoping that Alex has some alcohol somewhere, luckily he had some in the fridge which I had to open as quietly as I could. I just sat there in the spare room, everything was so fucked, I lost both parents, a brother my ex was crazy and on top of all this I was now drinking and taking pills. I was recommended to take 1 pill a day, but it slowly went from 1 to 3 a day, I had my pills in my bag which I packed before we got to Alex's. I knocked three pills back easily before taking a large gulp of the whiskey I stole out of Alex's fridge, I was also recommended not to drink on the tablets but I want listening, they went together well, they took away the pain. I took another gulp of the whiskey before walking over to the window which looked out onto the sky.   
"Billie?" I heard a voice call.  
I quickly turned round to see Ashton standing there shutting the door behind him.  
"What are you doing with that!?" He says slightly raising his voice but only a little.  
"I want to get away from everything for a while, I want everything to be okay and it won't be!" I say this time my voice raised as well.  
"Give me that!" Ash grunts reaching out for the bottle.  
"Fuck off!" I reply taking a huge gulp of the whiskey in front of him.  
"Stop that!" He states.  
"NO!" I shout drinking more.  
"BILLIE IM NOT FUCKING JOKING, GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOTTLE!" He shouts, his sudden change in voice making me drop the bottle.  
"Shit" I say.  
"I've got it," ash says leaning down to pick up the glass.  
"No let me do it," I say pushing him into the bed, picking up glass. He just sits there and I feel him looking at me. I look up to him as I still pick up the glass when I suddenly cut myself "Fuck!" I shout.  
"Billie! Come here let me look" he says pulling me up onto the bed.  
"Just leave me okay!" I say pulling my hands away from him.  
"BILLIE STOP PUSHING ME AWAY AND COME FOR FUCKS SAKE!" He shouts squeezing my hands and pulling me closer making me yelp.  
"Ash Stop" I cry tears rolling down my cheek.  
"I-I'm sorry Billie" Ash says quickly rubbing my hands to soothe them.  
"No, I'm sorry. I'm a mess, I'm a tired paranoid wreck, you don't need me" I say more tears falling.  
"What? Your tablets help you?" He says more of a questioning tone.  
"I-I haven't been honest with you ash" at this point I start choking on my tears.  
"What do you mean Billie?" He says his mood quickly changed.  
"I'm only supposed to take one of each pill. B-but I-I," I couldn't finish it's so hard to tell him.  
"Billie how many have you been taking!?" He says pressing his questions to me.  
"Three of each with a drink" I say falling into him clinging to his shirt crying. "I'm sorry, help me. Please. I'm falling deeper and I can't get out and the deeper I get the darker it gets and I'm fighting to see the light. Please, help me" I say mumbling into his now tear stained shirt.   
He pulls me away and my heart broke. I’ve finally done it, I pushed him too far.  
He slips his hand under my chins guiding my eyes to his before kissing me on my fragile cheeks. I guess he didn't want to taste the alcohol.  
"I'll always be here, I want you to get better, I want to see the light in your eyes, I want you to be the girl I fell in love with because right now she's lost. I miss you Billie, I'm going to help you but you've got to trust the decisions I make and I need you to be honest with me, I love you and I always will" he says pulling me back into a hug again.


	14. I hope so

I was woken by a small pyjama clad Emmi sitting on top of me, her big blue eyes staring into mine

"Morning Billie" she shouts somehow not waking Ashton.

"Morning Emmi" I somehow shifted myself up the bed, then rubbing my eyes.

I don't know how but I actually got some sleep last night, I don't know whether it was because I finally told Ash what had been happening but I was glad I finally got some sleep. I didn't think that I would get an actual nights sleep seeing as I wasn't on as many tablets and not on the drink, but some how I did. I lift the corner of the bed sheet allowing Emmi to snuggle up against me, we didn't really know what to say as it was too early, but Emmi just sat there playing around with my hand looking at the engagement ring Ashton gave me.

"That's a princess ring" she says, still admiring the ring.

"You like it then?" I say cracking a smile at her.

"I like it but I want to see the queens ring" she says smiling to me.

"The queens ring?" I say slightly confused, I mean 5 year olds do say weird things.

"Yeah the queens ring, you have a princess ring now but when you get married you'll be given a queens ring and you'll then have a king" she let's go of my hand and cuddles me.

"Do you mean a wedding ring Emmi?" I say smiling a lot more than before.

We was interrupted by Ashton turning over wrapping his arm around both of us.

“And how are my two favourite girls this morning?” He yawns.

"Billie said she would take me to the park" she says moving out from the quilt and moving over to where ashton was laying.

“Did she now?” He says raising his side of the quilt to let her cuddle to him.

At this point I was sitting there confused on how i ever spoke about that to her in those few minutes. She was clever for a 5 year old, she knew how to get what she wanted.

"Then we'll go" he says. "Why don't you and Billie go and get ready and I'll make the bed and get ready too" he continues.

"No, I want you to come with me" Emmi says jumping off of Ashton and grabbing his hand and pulling him as hard as she could.

By the time I had made the bed, got ready and did my make-up Ashton and Emmi were still not back from her bedroom.

"Ashton, are you okay?" I say slowly approaching the room 2 doors down.

"Oh hey Billie are you ready?" Ashton says breaking out into laughter, Emmi joining him.

"Ash put my dress on wrong" Emmi says rolling round the floor laughing.

_________

 

 

As we approached the park I felt so anxious, I felt like Chase could appear at any moment even though we were a 4 hour plane ride away from New York, I couldn’t let Ashton or Emmi see how uncomfortable I was.

 

“Are you okay love?” Ashton says taking entwining his fingers with mine “You seem tense”

“Yeah, I’m fine” I say all in one breath “Is it hot today?” I add mentally kicking myself at the poor change of subject.

“Billie, It’s the middle of December” He says looking deeply into my eyes “It’s freezing”

“I’m sorry Ashton, I can’t control it’s so much bigger than me” I say between laboured breaths “Don’t let Emmi see me like this, she’s too young” I say looking over to the little girl minding her own business in the snow.

“C’mon Billie, breathe slowly” he says walking me over to a sheltered bench “We can get through this together, okay” he says kneeling in front of me and taking both of my hands in his.

“I’m not good enough for you Ashton, I’m broken” I admit holding back tears

“Listen to me Billie, you are so out of my league, I may have money but that counts for jack-shit when I’m with you. I would rather give it all up in a second than not be with you. You’re broken and I’m broken, but together we can make it better” He says staring into my eyes.

Before I could answer we were both surprised by Emmi climbing up onto the bench to give her easier access to me

“Why are you sad?” She says resting her head on my chest “Did you lose your princess ring?” 

“I’m fine darling” I say letting go of Ashton’s hands and wrapping my arms around Emmi, bringing her small body closer too mine.

 

We were interrupted yet again by another voice.

“Is that Billie Cooper?”

“I am, yes” I say “Do I know you?”

“Oh yes sweetheart, I’m Karen” the elderly lady who was now in front of us said “Me and my late husband were your next door neighbours before the terrible tragedy”

“I remember you know, you were the lady that always made me and my brother James cookies” I say moving one of my hands from Emmi and stretching it out to shake her gloved hand.

“Yes, that was me” She says shaking my hand back and then moving it towards Ashton “This must be the famous Chase your brother spoke of so kindly the last time I saw him”

“I’m Ashton, Billie’s fiance” He says taking her small hand in his and shaking it.

“And this beautiful girl must be your daughter” she says smiling kindly at me

“This is Alex’s daughter, Emmi” I says politely.

We spent the next 15 minutes catching up with Karen before she had to leave, I told her all about Chase, about Aaron and how we all would have loved to have seen her at his funeral.

“She was friendly” Ashton says looking out at the mass expanse of snow “ I can’t believe she thought Emmi was ours” He adds chuckling slightly to himself

“She’s always been a bit nutty” I say resting my head on his shoulder “Do you think we’ll have our own family one day?”

“I hope so doll” He says kissing me on the top of my head “I hope so”


	15. Christmas Trees and Happy Memories

When we arrived back at JFK, we were met by Calum who had come to pick us up even though Ashton didn’t live that far away from the airport.

 

We got back to Ashton’s at about 5pm because we had chosen to get the later flight to see the boys had made Ashton’s apartment look all Christmassy because Michael was ‘sad’ that we had been in Idaho for Christmas.

 

“It feels kind of wrong that we are celebrating Christmas so close to the new year” Luke says walking from the kitchen to the sofa in Ashton’s living room.

“Luke, can I give Ashton and Billie their present from us?” Michael blurts out from behind whatever game he was playing “I’m getting impatient”

“Jesus Mike, they’ve only just got back” Luke sighs “Give them time to settle in”

“What do you mean?” I ask

“You just ruined it Mikey” Luke groaned

“It's not my fault, I'm impatient!” Miley grunts back.

 

“Alright can one of you explain what the fuck is going on!” Ashton shouts.

None of the guys looked up. Mikey and Cal just sat there looking at their hands, but only Luke was on his phone.

“guys what's going on?” I asked. By this point myself and Ashton are completely confused.

Luke gets up and puts his phone in his pocket and walks outside the apartment. They guys continue to look down.

“Okay guys what the fuck is happening and why has Luke just walked out!?” I shout.

“We've been told not to say anything. Luke wants to tell you” Cal says and then continues to look down.

“We’ll seeing as Luke has just mysteriously left, you two better start talking” Ashton groans

Cal nudges Mikey prompting him to speak.

“FINE! Okay so whilst you two were away over Christmas we wanted to get you something but for ages we didn't know what to get you, and Cody had a little accident and-” I cut Mikey off.

“No no no, h-has Cody? Where's Cody!?” I say tears threatening to spill.

“Oh god no no no Billie don't cry that's not what Mikey meant!” Cal interrupts myself and Mikey. “You left Cody with us and we went out for like an hour and he kind of chewed up his cushion you guys got him, so we assumed Cody was bored or lonely” cal says.

“what that's not like Cody?” I say confused.

Suddenly Luke walks back in with Cody running in jumping to great me, which instantly hugged back.

“Did you guys tell them?” Luke mutters.

“They did but I'd like you to explain!” I argue

“Okay so basically you guys left Cody with us and we went out to get food one night and we came back and Cody chewed that cushion you got him, and we kind of assumed that Cody was lonely or bored...” Luke pauses as he sits down on the couch next to me. Cody at this point laying across Ashton's lap. “And we really didn't know what to get you guys for Christmas anyway and you went away and it made it harder for us to get you a present so we decided to decorate the apartment for Christmas for when you get back and then we thought of Cody being lonely so we got him a present as well as you guys” Luke stopped waiting for a response of the both of us.

“Okay?” myself and Ash say, I look over to Calum and Michael who are smiling like small children which worried me even more.

Luke was also smiling as he unzipped his jacket revealing a tiny black labrador puppy, who stumbled over Luke to myself and Ashton. Tears spilled down my face to see the small puppy staring at me.

“You guys got us a other dog?” I say smiling with tears.

“We'll actually we got Cody a friend, but yeah I guess we got you another dog” Mikey says laughing.

I place the small puppy on the sofa as I go to hug them all, ashton followed behind me and we all had a group hug. I turned around to be seen the puppy cuddled up against Cody, great two lazy dogs!

“What you going to call the little guy?” Calum asks

“What do you think?” I ask Ash.

“How about Zack?” He says smiling with a little giggle

“Like Zack and Cody” Mikey laughs

“I love it” I say kissing ashton

“Eww save it for when we aren't here! So you guys like your present?” Luke says

“I love him, I love everything, I love you guys, thank you!” I say hugging them all again.

 

—————————————————————————————————

 

The guys left not long after that leaving myself and Ash with Zack and Cody, I mentally laugh to myself, it feels so weird saying it. Ash went off to say bye to guys but I was sat on the floor with the dogs, I honestly couldn't believe the guys, they make me so happy and after everything that had happened they were really trying to cheer me up, and how can you not be happy around a puppy.

“You want to watch a movie?” Ash says making me jump.

“You made me jump” I say laughing

“Christmas movies?” He says leaning over me kissing me on my forehead.

“Sure” I say lifting Zack off me to where he tiredly stumbled over to Cody who's already asleep.

I move off of the floor and onto the sofa where Ashton later joins me on the couch and smile and cuddle up into him seeing that he's put another one of my favourite films on 'elf' I shiver slightly as I realise how cold it suddenly was.

“You cold doll?”ashton questions

“A little” I say

“Hold on a sec” ash gets up and goes into the bedroom coming out with the blanket.

I focus back on the tv when I hear a loud thud, not waking the dogs but certainly scaring me. I look away from the tv to see ashton on the floor giggling. He fell over the blanket.

“Really?” I say laughing

“Hey I've got these big arse feet it not easy!” he says laughing and bringing the blanket over me and I cuddle up into him.

We settled down watching the movie and ashton then put another film on 'home alone 2' I loved everything right now, cuddled up with Ash and two dogs. I loved it. Before I knew it the film had finished.

“Let's go out” Ash says moving out from the blanket reaching out for my hand

“It's so cold though!?” I say slightly laughing

“Get a coat, a scarf and some gloves I want to show you something!”

"Fine" I say and get changed.

Ash already has his coat and we leave Zack and Cody as they're sleeping, as walk for about 15 minutes before I finally released where we were, Central Park.

“Ash I've been Central Park a million times and it doesn't exactly give me good memories” I say holding his hand a little tighter of the memories flooding back of seeing chase, but I push the memories out.

“You've not seen this side of Central Park" he says "I want to help you forget those memories and I want to make you remember these memories” he says wrapping his arm around me.

“T-this is beautiful” I say gob smacked at how I've never seen Central Park at Christmas.

“I knew you'd like it” he says pulling me lightly making me walk.

We walked for about 10 minutes down a path covered with Christmas lights with a tiny amount of snow crunching under our feet. I stopped dead in our tracks when I finally saw what ash wanted me to see.

"ash that's the biggest Christmas tree, I have ever seen, it's so beautiful” I say hugging him.

“Come on you got to see it up close” he says walking me further

We walk for another 5 minutes where we finally get as close as we was allowed against he tree.

“It's the Rockefeller centre christmas tree and it's here every christmas I can't believe you've not seen it” he says

“Chase wasn't really into christmas” I say looking down

“Hey less about him and more about us” he says lifting in his cold hand under my chin making me look at him, I just stare at his smile it's so beautiful.“How come you always smile at my smile?” He questions

“Your smile is enough to remind me that not everyone is like chase and enough for me to know that you actually love me, your smile is beautiful and warms my heart, which I didn't know was possible after it being so cold for so long, you truly make me smile I love you Ashton Fletcher Irwin I say hugging him tightly his chin resting on my head.

“You know why I love you? Because even though I'm standing in front of the biggest Christmas tree in Manhattan with billions of lights and standing in Central Park which is filled with another billion lights, nothing is beautiful as you. Looking up to the sky and seeing all those stars, not one of them shines as bright as you, there's a fat arse star up on that tree and even that doesn't shine as bright as you. You make me remember everything that's right in this world and you accept me for me and my past. Your heart is the warmest thing even though it's so cold outside, you're the most caring and adorable person on earth you still think of everyone even when you have problems of your own, I love you Billie and you make the happiest guy alive and I'm counting down the days till I get to call you my wife” he says pulling me away from the hug looking into my eyes which tears were spilling from.

“Even when the sky is falling down

Even when the earth is crumbling 'round my feet"

I lightly sing

"Even when we try to say goodbye

And you can cut the tension with a knife in here” 

Ashton sings back

“Cause I know what'll happen

If we get through this” 

I continue to sing back to him.

“And if the earth ends up crumbling down to its knees baby

We just gotta get out

We just gotta get out

And if the skyscrapers tumble down and crash around baby

We just gotta get out

We just gotta get out"

he sings back to before kissing me on the forehead “I didn't know you knew our music?” He says hugging me

“Hey I can't marry you if I don't know your songs I say laughing.

“I love you doll”  
“I love you too Ash”


	16. Call Me Up

_"hello love"_  Ash says down the phone, he had been at work all day and was having to work late tonight.

"hi, how are you?" I say back down the phone

 _"I've been thinking about you, bent over, everything on show"_  He says taking a deep breath

"and how does that make you feel?" I say trying to sound as seductive as I can.

 _"So hard baby girl, you make me rock hard"_  I hear him sigh, clearly getting frustrated.

"and what do you want to do to me?" I say, my hand moving from where it was rested on my stomach up towards my breasts.

"I want to make you scream, I want to leave my marks all over your sweet body" He says barely a whisper

 "are you touching yourself over me?" I ask confidently, I knew exactly what he was doing.

 _"oh god yes, are you?"_  He says on a moan

Looking down towards my hand that had now moved from my breasts and under the sweatpants I had on.

"I am" I answer proudly "I am so wet"

 _"Fuck doll, you're killing me here"_  He says  _"I want to be right there with you, I want to taste those sweet juices"_

I started to feel my walls clench, Entering a finger into myself I let out a small moan, loud enough for him to hear it on the other end.

 _"You sound so hot baby girl, I want to feel you come on my dick"_  He sighs yet again down the phone  _"I want to hear you scream my name"_

"Ash, I need you" I moan, head flying back with sheer pleasure.

 _"Who?"_  He moans, I can hear him wanking.

"Daddy" I whisper quickening the speed of my fingers nearing my release

 _"Baby girl, are you going to come for daddy?"_  He moans, seemingly quickening his pace too.

"Fuck" I scream out orgasm

washing over my body.

I hear Ashton groan as his orgasm hits

 _"I love you so much"_  he says panting  _"I'll be home soon_ "

"I love you too" I say

As I rolled out of bed to go and attempt to make some dinner I hear my phone bleep signalling that I had another message.

Opening up the message I see a picture of Ashton, cock dripping with come, pressed against his stomach, the message reading.

_"Daddy loves you"_

_A.N I JUST WANTED TO QUICKLY UPDATE AS I WILL BE AWAY FOR 3 WEEKS WITHOUT INTERNET SO I WON'T BE ONLINE._


	17. New Year, New Start

Ashton had demanded that I go to a business brunch that took place every New Year's Eve with him and the guys because he wanted me to meet some of his clients.

"I cannot believe you made me wear a dress" I say laughing "I look ridiculous"

"You look beautiful, as you will on our wedding day" he says looking straight down the corridor.

"You aren't even looking at me" I laugh yet again

"You know what I'd have to do if I looked at you dressed like that,"' he continues gaze not moving from the corridor.

"Tell me" I whisper in his ear "daddy"

"First, I would push you against this wall" he says doing exactly that "then I would start kissing you in all the right places" he says moving his mouth down to my neck leaving wet kisses along my jawline.

"And then what will you do?" I moan

"I'll push you into the toilets where I will make you strip"

"No one will be stripping in my building thank you" Michael interrupts. Luke and Calum crying with laughter beside him.

"Jesus fucking Christ Mike, you cock block" Ashton groans as he carries on walking.

"Are we going out tonight man?" Luke shouts as Ashton strops off down the corridor.

"Yes" he shouts back

"I better go and make sure he's okay" I say joining the boys laughing

"Go and find him then tell him we'll come to his at 9," Calum says waving and turning around.

___________________

9 o'clock came around quicker than expected. By the time me and Ashton had gotten ready Luke and the guys had already burst through Ashton's front door.

"LET'S GO OUT AND FUCK THIS CITY UP" Michael shouts as he comes through the door.

"Mike, use your inside voice" Calum laughs sitting on Ashton's sofa "he's already pretty wasted, he's been drinking since 7"

"Did you make sure the club has a guest list?" Ashton asks Calum "I do not want to see Chase there"

"Yeah, the guest list is tight" Calum says "We'll monitor that place like we're the fucking CIA or some shit"

It was at least 10pm before we left Ashton's apartment because Mikey had decided he wanted roll around on the floor with Zack and Cody which only left us with two hours until the new year.

 

"B, you're drunk" Luke laughs with me, he was extremely drunk too, we had only been at the bar for 30 minutes.

"I'm not. I've only had a few drinks" I giggle as Ashton, who is sat next to me rubs my hair.

"Billie go and dance with Luke, me and cal need to talk business" Ashton says encouraging me to get up.

"You're boring, lighten up" I laugh "we only have two hours"

Making my way over to the dance floor, I suddenly see a familiar face, panic set in, is it chase?

"Luke, that guy behind the bar." I whisper "Do we know him?"

"He looks kinda familiar" he says frowning at the guy "Let's go and find out"

Walking over to the bar my brain starts to go into overdrive.

What if it is Chase?

How did he get here?

What is he going to do to me?

"Hi mate, do I know you?" Luke asks the barman "you look really familiar"

"You kinda look like my old boyfriend" I laugh "he was a bit of a prick"

"Don't say that babe, I'm sure you did something first" the barman says in the exact same tone as Chase.

Feeling myself lose control of my legs, I see Ashton jump up and run over to me before my sight gets darker and darker.

~*~*~

"C'mon love, wake up" I hear Ashton shout over the music in the club.

"I think that guy really is Chase" I hear Luke whisper to Ashton.

"Some women really can't handle their drink" the barman who I was now certain was Chase interrupted.

"Fuck off mate" Michael stands up from my side and goes up to the bar "you caused this"

"Ashton?" I finally speak up

"Hey doll" he says rubbing the back of my head "how do you feel?"

"Chase" I whisper "the barman is Chase"

"We're getting you out of here" Ashton says helping me to sit up "I know the perfect place"

"Me and Ashton will take you then Cal and Mike will follow us" Luke says extending his hand out to help me get to my feet.

_____________________________

 

"Wow, this is beautiful" I say looking at roof terrace that was at the top of Luke and Michael's building.

"New York has a lot of hidden gems" Ashton says putting his arm around me.

"Drink up guys" Luke states passing us all drinks "it's nearly midnight"

"What happened to he barman?" I ask

"Mike sorted him out" Calum says staring out over the skyline

"Did he hurt you Mikey?" I say rubbing my arm

"He didn't stand a chance" Michael laughs as he pulls me in for a hug and kisses the top of my head "love you B"

I see Ashton's jaw clench when I looked over Micheal's shoulder

"Another year clean boys" Ashton admits changing the subject

"Proud of you man" Calum and Michael say in unison

"I love you so much," He whispers in my ear.

5.

"I love you too" I reply

4.

"We can save each other" He whispers staring out over Times Square

3.

"Together" I whisper back

2.

"Ready for the fall?" He asks me

1.

"Ready" I state

Placing a gentle kiss on my lips Ashton mumbles

"I never want this to end love, you complete me"


	18. Limits

I had been staring at Ashton for 10 minutes, he was sat, watching the TV.  
I knew he missed the sex, he’s a grown man, today is about him.  
“Love, come and watch this show” Ashton shouts to where I was stood in the kitchen “You’ll love it”  
“Actually, I wanted to do something for you” I say, my voice shaking a little  
“What’s that doll?” he says standing up and walking over to me “are you okay?”  
I waited until he got closer to me before I whispered in his ear “tie me up”  
“fuck” he sighs “come on” he says taking a hold of my wrist and basically dragging me into the bedroom.  
“I’ve been so miserable lately” I whisper in his ear again “I want to spoil you”  
“Fuck you're killing me love” the roughness of his voice showing.  
I was quickly laid down on the bed the coolness of the sheets hitting the little skin that was exposed. Ashton quickly went to work leaving rough kisses up and down my neck leaving me so helpless, I want this to be all about him but I could fight him off.  
“Ash” I say no roughness in my voice  
“I know doll” he says moving a finger over my lips to silence me.  
“No Ash stop!” Saying a lot harsher than I intended.  
“W-what? Why?” He says still hovering over me.  
“I-I want this-” I say stopping pushing him to the side of me where I then straddle over him. “I want this to be about you” I start running my hands up and down his ripped shirt feeling every inch of his torso underneath.  
“I think you should do this more often” he says looking up to me with a huge grin on his face.  
“Shh” I press my lips to his moving them in sync with his.  
He pulls my top over my head in one quick movement showing my lace bra when he let out small moan.  
“Okay no more” he says picking me and laughing me down and he's now above me.  
I moved my arms from clinging onto his back to the headboard leaving them there. I didn't know what to do next I've never really done anything like this, but today was about ash so I had to forget these thoughts.  
“Daddy... I want you to tie me up” I say bitting my lip.  
“Shit Billie you sure?” His voice lowered  
I just nodded and he moved to lean over the bed to get something to tie my arms up with.  
“You don’t have to do this” he says “I don’t mind”  
“Tie me up” I say convincingly “daddy”  
“I’m going to tie your hands together” he says wrapping a long piece of black ribbon around my wrists “I want you to ride me”  
Pulling his boxers down I slowly take a hold of his cock  
“You deserve this” I say moving my hand rhymically up and down his shaft“  
I love you so much doll” He says while I lick my fingers coating them in my saliva, He enters one of his long fingers into me closely followed by a second.  
“This will teach you to stop being a little fucking tease” He says eyes drifting over my naked body.  
“Billie, please” He moans as I continue my strokes.  
“Daddy, I want you to fuck me” I say softly “Please”  
“Okay doll” he says  
He elicits a chesty moan as he spreads my legs further apart  
“You are crazy beautiful” he says before pushing himself fully into me  
“Daddy” I stutter out.  
“Do you like this, you little slut?’ He says withdrawing himself and slamming into me  
“Shit daddy” I scream so loudly  
I felt myself tightening around him  
“Let go doll” he says as I let my orgasm take over my body.  
Ashton thrusts became sloppier as he came until he stopped and pulled out.  
“I love you doll” he says running a hand through his sweat dampened hair.


	19. Heartbreak

“Ashton?” I shout through to the living room of Ashton’s apartment “have you taken something from my photo box?”  
“Nope?” he shouts back “what’s missing love?”  
“A scan picture” I say bluntly,  
“Are you pregnant?” Ashton says as he basically runs into the half closed bedroom door “how far are you?”  
“It’s not mine, I’ve never had a baby” I say defensively “It’s a scan of Emmi”  
“oh” he says sounding disappointed “no, i haven’t taken anything”  
“I’m sure it’ll turn up” I say putting all the photos away into the box.  
“There’s a letter for you on the side” he says turning around and walking towards the door “who sends letters now-a-days?”  
“Ashton?” I shout through the living room of Ashton’s apartment “have you taken something out of my photo box?”  
“Nope?” he shouts back “what’s missing love?”  
“A scan picture” I say bluntly.  
“Are you pregnant!?” Ashton says as he basically runs into the half closed bedroom door. “How far are you?”  
“It’s not mine, I’ve never had a baby” I say defensively. “It’s a scan of Emmi”  
“Oh” he says sounding disappointed “no, I haven’t taken anything”  
“I’m sure it’ll turn up” I say putting all the photos away into the box.  
“There’s a letter for you on the side anyway” he says turning around and walking towards the door.  
“Who sends letters now-a-days?” I say laughing whilst walking into the kitchen.  
Ashton just laughed and went and sat back down in front of his computer, I picked up the letter staring at it for a few seconds to see if I could read the handwriting on the front of the letter. After looking at the letter for a little bit longer I decided that I couldn’t read the front of it and I noticed that there was no address on the front just my name which I thought was strange on how it got here in the first place.  
“Ash how the hell did you read the front of this letter I can hardly make out what it says”  
“Michael’s handwriting is worse” Ashton says laughing from behind his computer screen.  
I opened the letter cautiously not knowing what it’s was going to be. It looked like some five year old had wrote better, to be honest I think Emmi had better hand writing. I picked up the photo that dropped to the floor and no sooner had I my heart dropped, tears ran down my face quicker than ever before.   
“Who’s the letter from doll?” Ashton says not looking any further then his computer screen.  
I quickly pulled myself together before responding “Oh it’s just one of those coupon letter things, it’s nothing” I say, opening and closing the bin making out like I threw it in the bin. “I’m just going for a shower” I say with Ashton laughing at the fact I just told him that.  
I turned on the shower listening to water drowning out any noise that I could make and sat on the floor cross legged and managed to read the messy handwriting. Tears slipped down onto the paper which read ‘does he know about your little accident? How silly of you to leave something like this in your photo box which anyone could find’ I dropped the letter in front of me and picked up the baby scan ‘Miss Billie Grace Cooper, 14/5/1999’ I ran my hand over my stomach, leaning against the wall struggling to breathe no tears able to fall. I looked at the small undeveloped baby, the ultrasound only able to pick up the basic structure of the baby. This was another thing Chase ruined, I was pregnant and I was only four months pregnant when I lost the baby. I never even got to see who the little thing would grow into, what they would become. Chase had ruined so much in my life but I could deal with it but this is something that I couldn’t deal with, it was a constant battle to try and not remember what happened. I closed my eyes and just remembered being in the hospital, having to deliver an unborn baby, whilst chase was in the corner of the room watching me making me not tell them that it wasn’t him. I could hardly move, my body ached. My heart was so broken, I was so close to breaking when I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me picking me up and pulling me into a tight hug.   
“Jesus, Billie what’s happened?” Ash says moving some hair out of my face before looking straight at me.  
“H-how did you get in here?” I say no tone in my voice  
“You didn’t lock the door and you’ve been in here for half an hour, forget that! What’s happened?” He says his face clearly showing pain.  
“I-I... I can’t” I say burying my head into Ashton’s chest.  
He pulls me out of his arms leaving me standing there watching him, he quickly picks up the letter and scan photo, quickly reading the letter before looking at the baby scan and turning to me with tears in his eyes.  
“You told me you’ve never had a baby Billie… Y-you lied to me? Why did you never tell me? Would you ever have told me if you never got the letter?” he says crying.  
“I-I didn’t have a baby. I had a miscarriage, from Chase.” I grab the photo of him and I stand staring at it, whilst Ashton turns off the shower. “I was 15 weeks. 15 fucking weeks and that stupid asshole had to ruin everything killing everything. He killed it and it’s took me two years to get to where I am now. So yes I was pregnant but I gave birth to a still born because of that asshole smacking a door into me. I lied to you because I’ve been lying to myself too, I don’t want to admit it happened but I can’t forget it” I struggle to say it all whilst looking at Ashton crying.  
“Come here” he says still crying, pulling me into a tight hug where we both fall to the floor. “I love you Billie” Ash says us both chocking on our tears.


	20. Night

I felt so much better now that I had told Ashton about the baby. It felt like we were growing even closer than before, and now I wouldn’t be pushing him away because of the secrets I was holding back.

“Good morning beautiful” Ashton says before placing a gentle kiss on my forehead “how are you feeling? ”  
“great” I say ignoring the dull ache in my stomach “how are you feeling? ”  
“I’m good, It feels great to wake up everyday next to a beautiful girl” He says rolling over to get out of bed  
“Where are you going?” I say stretching out to reach him  
“I’m going to brush my teeth so I don’t have gross breath”   
“I’ll make us some breakfast, yeah?” I say moving around to get off the bed.  
“Yeah, that’d be nice love” Ashton says as he walks into his big bathroom.

I tried my hardest not to burn the pancakes like Ashton did before we were together seriously. I wasn't usually this stressed when cooking but I guess I was trying to impress him. Ashton walked in just as I was dishing them up. Luckily none of them were burnt.   
“Why do you make them so perfectly and I burn them!?” Ashton says doing his best pouty face.  
“I nearly burnt them so don't worry” I say putting the plates on the table and kissing his cheek.  
We both say there in silence just making the odd groan at how good the pancakes were, Ashton finished at the same time as me so I picked up both are plates and put them in the sink and began to wash up, but making sure I put my ring on the side. Ashton quickly followed behind me wrapping his arms around me resting his hands at the front of my pyjama bottoms.   
“So I was thinking that we should celebrate the new year properly, you know without us getting drunk with all the guys here” he says rubbing my stomach.  
“What did you have in mind Mr Irwin?” I say laughing straight after.  
“Well soon to be Mrs Irwin, I was feeling that we go downtown to a nice little restaurant and toast the new year properly” he says.  
“I'd like that a lot” I say as I turn around and get on my tip toes to kiss him. “Now for this restaurant should I dress smart or casual?” I say.  
“Well I'm going casual and it don't want you to out do me so you should go casual to” he says smirking.  
“Oh I'll still out do you even in casual” I say smirking back.  
“No doubt you will doll”   
\---------------------------------  
It was about five when we both decided to move from the sofa and get ready, we'd been watching movies and falling sleep for about 6 hours. We both got ready kind of quickly so it was about 7 by the time we got to the restaurant downtown.   
“It looks beautiful” I say looking out at the restaurant with all fairy lights at the front.  
“Just like you” Ashton says giggling  
“Alright enough with the cheesy pick up lines” I say also laughing.  
Ashton had ordered our wine as soon as we got in and not long after that a waiter came and asked us for our order. I didn't know what to have everything sounded so foreign so I just had what ash had.  
“Everyone's dressed so nice, I could've dressed nicer too!” I say messing around with the table napkin   
“Hey you look prettier than everyone else in this room, I prefer you in casual wear when we go out anyway” he says.  
“How come?” I quickly ask.  
“Stops me from thinking anything rude...” He says blushing.  
“Oh, so no Mr Irwie tonight?” I say winking.  
“Stop. Oh look foods here” he says in a low tone.  
We both say there looking at the small portion of food on our plate, looked like they was feeding a dwarf or something. The food didn't taste any better than it looked.  
“Come on I know somewhere we'll both enjoy” he says leaving the bill money on the table before leaving with me in his hand.  
We walked about 4 blocks before I could see a big glowing 'm' on the side of the building.   
“Now hopefully we shall be the best dressed here” Ashton says laughing  
“Do you remember my order?” I say hoping that he remembered.  
“Of course doll” he says smiling.  
We left and walked another 2 blocks before we got to Central Park. By the time all of the lights were lighting the park up.   
“does here seem alright?”   
“Yeah anywheres good I just want this” I say holding up the brown paper bag.  
Eating McDonald's in Central Park under the stars with Ashton was definitely a good start to the new year.

“I think I could love this burger more than you love” Ashton says laughing.


	21. Daddy

By the time I had woken up Ashton had already left for work, I reached over to the bedside table to read the note that had been left   
‘Good morning beautiful, I hope that you slept well.  
I’ll be home around 4pm. I love you so much.  
Ashton xx’  
I decided to go and eat some breakfast before calling Michael to see if he just wanted to come over, I hated being home alone because of Chase.

“Hey Mikey, do you want to come over today?” I ask the older boy down the phone  
“Sure, I’ll be over about 12?” Michael says   
“See you then!” I smile momentarily before realising that he can’t see me  
For the past three days my stomach had been a mess, I didn’t tell Ashton because of course he would worry, I blamed it on the McDonalds me and Ashton had eaten at Central Park, but after the forth time spending my morning sitting on the bathroom floor right next to the toilet I was starting to think it was something more serious.

I decided to text Michael to see if he could bring me a pregnancy test when he came over, saying that I would explain later and no later than 12 there was a knock on the door.

“Would you like to explain this?” Michael says giving me a small carrier bag which had the test in it.  
“I would say I’m pregnant but I’m not entirely sure” I say opening the little box.  
“Do you want me to come with or wait here?” Michael asks looking at me  
“Can you wait here please” I say turning to walk away “We’ll look at it together” 

**

‘I want to have babies one day. I do and I want to have them with Ashton’ I think to myself as I leave the bathroom holding the test.

“Hey” Michael says standing up from where he was sat on the sofa playing some game on his phone.  
“Hey” I reply with a small smile “We’ve got a minute left”  
“What’s gonna happen if you aren’t?” Michael asks “Are you going to tell Ashton?”  
“Yeah, I want to have babies with him one day but I’m not sure if I’m ready” I sigh  
“I know for sure that Ash is completely smitten with you, when we’re at work he never shuts up about you”  
“I think it’s time Mike” I say passing him the test “tell me what it says please”  
“You ready?” He asks reaching for my hand.   
“Yeah, I am” I say joining my hand with his.  
“It is” he pauses and does a drumroll.  
“C’mon Mike” I say play smacking his arm before rejoining my hand with his again.  
“It is… Positive”  
"I need to call him" I squeal as I wrap my arms around him  
"Wait, Billie" Michael says pulling away "How about we do something big?"  
"Like what?" I ask the red and black haired boy sitting next to me  
"Well we all know about his kink, so let's make a sign saying hello 'daddy' and he will just think you are messing with him but then you flip it around and it has the test taped to the back of it”  
“Kink? What kink?” I say just trying to not to blush.  
“C'mon Billie, we've spent most of our life with Ash we know everything... And I mean everything” Mike said laughing  
“He's gonna be pissed about it if we do, it like that” I say.  
“Well what else can we do?” Mike says  
“I'm not sure” I say confused  
“C'mon you know you want to go with my idea” Mike says smirking.  
“Fine, fine” I say.  
“Hey should I call the guys and tell them to bring some huge ass paper and some markers so we can do the poster thingy” Mike says half out of breathe.  
“Oh shit yeah!” I say suddenly remembering.  
“Does Ashton let you swear like that around him?” Mike giggles  
“Definitely not, do not tell him that either!” I shout!  
All I then see is Mike walk away and start talking to the guys on the phone telling them to bring paper and supplies. It suddenly dawned on me that we needed something else. I quickly ran towards Michael more or less running into him.  
“MICHAEL WE NEED GLITTER! TELL THE GUYS TO BRING BLUE AND PINK GLITTER DONT TELL THEM WHY I'LL TELL THEM WHEN THEY'RE HERE!” I basically scream in his face.   
About 20 minutes later, the guys finally came running through the door shouting what's going on.  
“So guys I have news...” I calmly say.  
“BILLIE DONT MESS AROUND TELL US PLEASE” Luke and Cal shout.  
“Well, when two people love each other very much” I state.  
“Ew this is too much for me” Luke says laughing.  
“Luke shut the fuck up and let the nice lady continue” Mike says.  
“Anyways there might be pitta patta sounds around here eventually...” I say just trying to remain calm.  
“Are you getting another dog?” Cal says smiling massively.  
“Billie please tell them they're annoying me oh my god” Mike says  
“Not exactly... I'm well, I'm pregnant...” I say smiling waiting for the guys to answer.  
“WHAT BILLIE, REALLY!?” Cal and Luke shout and begin rushing to hug me with Michael tagging along as well.  
“Okay guys let's remember not to squish me” I say laughing quickly followed by the guys. “Guys come on we need to this poster thing before ash gets back!” I state.  
“don't let Luke near the glitter please, I beg” Mike says laughing.  
We finished the poster at about 2:30 which gave us some time to go and get something to eat on the way to see Ashton.

Sitting down at the table in Taco Bell, we all started talking about the pregnancy news  
“So what are you going to call it?” Michael says from across the table whilst shoving half a taco in his mouth “you should call it Michael”   
“shut up” I laugh “I found out 2 and half hours ago, I don’t even know the sex”  
“I think if it’s a boy, you should call it Kit” Luke says from next to me “I like the name Kit”  
“That’s such a cute name” I say checking my phone to see a text from Ashton.  
‘Hello baby girl, I love you so much and I can’t wait to see you later, Ashton xxx’  
“I think it’s time guys” I say nervously “let’s go and tell him.”

It took us about 10 minutes than normal because Luke was driving and he is a ridiculously careful driver. 

‘What was Ashton going to say?, he wanted to have kids right?’ I think to myself as myself, Michael, Luke and Calum approach the lifts with the sign in our hands.

“How do you think he’s going to react?” Luke say breaking the awkward silence that had filled the lift.  
“I think he’ll cry” Calum says  
“I think he’ll cry and then have a wank, because we all know he likes to be called daddy” Michael says laughing as he walks out the now stopped lift onto the floor where Ashton’s office was.

“Love, what are you doing here?” I hear Ashton’s voice from behind me “Has something happened?”  
“Yes, I found out something today” I say trying to hide the fact that I was about ready to cry myself.  
“What’s going on?” He says wrapping his strong arms around me.  
“Hold the sign up Mikey” I say too the boy standing behind me.

‘Hello Daddy, I can’t wait to meet you’

“What is this Billie?” Ashton says looking at me then to Michael and the guys “This better not be a joke”  
“It’s not Ashton” I smile “I’m pregnant”


	22. Revelations 2.0

“Good morning love” Ashton says rolling over and kissing my forehead “Good morning baby” he says placing his hand on my stomach.  
“Hi” I giggle placing my head on his bare chest “How are you feeling?”   
“I feel amazing” he grins “did you know I am engaged to the most beautiful I have ever seen and I have just found she is having my baby”   
“I am also engaged to a very attractive man and I appear to be pregnant with his child” I laugh “I need to go to the doctors to sort out my pills though”   
“Of course doll” He says sitting up “we would want anything hurting mummy or baby”   
“I’m going to shower” I say getting up from the bed and walking towards the bathroom  
“I’ll make us some breakfast” Ashton says getting up after me and going in the kitchen.

I took me 10 minutes to shower and get dressed, morning sickness arriving about halfway through the shower.  
As I walked into the front room I saw Ashton stood in the middle of the carpet staring at the TV where there was a film of a couple having sex  
“Ashton, who is that?” I ask as I walk up next to him  
“Us” He replies nonchalantly   
“You filmed us?” I say frowning  
“No, I didn’t” He says eyes not moving from the TV “but someone did”  
“Just ignore it” I laugh “It could be kind of fun to watch occasionally”  
“He says he is going to sell it to the papers” he sighs  
“Ashton, it makes sense” I say as something clicks in my head “It’s Chase, think about it, the scan and the letter and now this, it must be him”  
“That fucker is going to pay” He shouts   
“Ashton, calm down baby” I say wrapping my arms around his waist “We’ll report him to the police”  
“Come on, let’s focus on our little family” I mutter into his still bare chest  
“I don’t think you understand the seriousness of the Billie, If he leaks that tape to the press, I could lose my job, We could lose everything, my reputation would go to shit” he says raising his voice a little  
“Do you want to call the police?” I say rubbing his back “go and sit down and I’ll get you the phone”  
“He’s ruined your life love, I’m not going to let him ruin our little life that we are trying so hard to fix” he sighs, he needs to go down for what he’s done”  
“He will Ashton, don’t worry” I say breathing slowly, this last thing Ashton or the baby needs is for me to start having a panic attack.  
“I’m not going down for doing something to him if he doesn’t go down” he sighs “I’m not leaving you and peanut behind because of him” “Peanut?” I say giggling   
“Yeah the baby” he says smiling  
“I love you so much, you make me laugh at times when I should be sad” I say  
“I only want to see you happy, I only want us to grow together” he says smiling as he speaks  
“I'll go get the phone” I say having to walk away before I get took emotional  
I walk into the living room and grab his phone and dial the police before handing it him  
“Hi I'd like to report a crime please it's about a cyber hacking” he says his voice calm then pausing  
“Wha-what's happening?” I say voice shaking   
“He's putting me through to some detective guy I forgot”  
Ashton then spent the next 20 minutes on the phone before we both waited about half an hour before the chief police officer came around to sort out the matter out. It was awkward having to explain to the officer all about chase but, if I wanted my life with Ashton to well and truly begin I would have to talk about it.  
“Don't you worry about this Mr & Mrs Irwin, with the information you've provided it won't take long to find the fella and we certainly have a strong case against him also. I'll have my team downtown to sort out removing the video off the site it's been posted on. This won't be continuing any longer” the officer said.  
“Oh we're not married yet” I say  
“You'll just have to forgive me about that you two give off the impression that you have been together for a long time. Now you shall have to forgive me but I must go in order to get a hold of this boy. Have a nice day the both of you, oh and the little one to” the officer left with a smile.  
“Don’t worry”I was so nervous about going to the doctors to have our first scan done I mean all I wanted was for the baby to be okay. Everything that had been going on was so stressful I just hoped that it didn't affect the baby. I'd been sitting in the waiting room for 15 minutes, I always got places early I hated being late I preferred to be somewhere early because then I know that nothing can change that appointment. Ashton wasn't here yet which made me panic so much more. I'd text him about 50 times and phoned him like 20 times but still no answer. I looked around me and all I could see was happy couples, the women with bumps a lot bigger than mine, again making me panic.   
“Miss Cooper” a soft female voice said.  
As soon as I stood up the main door opened and I seem Ashton run in.  
“Doll I'm so sorry” he says out of breathe.  
“It's fine, can we just cope with this now I'm so nervous!” I say a tear falling as we followed the woman into the room.  
I laid down on the bed and lifted my top just enough so my small bump was visible, a small smile lifted across my face which grew bigger as I saw Ashton's huge smile.  
“This is going to be a little cold but there's no need to worry it's just to help the little one inside” she says with a smile. “Okay now Miss Cooper, are you ready to see the little one?” she says.

There it was.  
Our tiny little baby on the screen right in front of us  
“There’s peanut” I say sniffling and wiping my eyes  
“Do you want to know the know the sex?” The doctor asks looking at me and then looking at Ashton  
He nods towards me with tears in his eyes  
“Please” I whisper trying to hold back the flow of tears that were threatening to spill out of my eyes  
“Well, from seeing the ultrasound, I can say that you are expecting a baby boy” she says smiling sweetly. “I’ll leave you two alone for a minute, congrats”  
“A boy” Ashton laughs through his tears “We’re having a boy”  
“Our own little life” I say holding Ashton hand  
“This is just the start of us, love. ”


	23. Psycho

The doctor said I was no longer allowed to take my pills because of the risk to the babies health.  
"Good morning love" Ashton says rolling over and placing his palm on my stomach "good morning son"  
"What are you going to do when he actually starts calling you daddy?" I laugh when I notice a huge smile appear on Ashton's face.  
"It'll be different though right?" He laughs "like,because I actually will be his daddy"  
Before I could reply my phone starts playing from the other side of the room.  
"Ignore it" I sigh "I want to stay like this forever, you, me and peanut"  
"It could be important, it could be the police" Ashton says getting out of the king-size bed we had first made love in completely naked.  
"Hello?" Ashton says to the person on the other end of my phone.  
"Hold on one second, I'll give it to her now."  
"It's James." He says passing me the phone  
"Hi." I say to my twin  
"Hi, where are you?" He says sounding worried  
"At mine and Ashton's house, why?"  
"I had a phone call about 20 minutes ago from that crazy ex of yours saying that if he couldn't hurt you with that sex tape, then he'd have to hurt the ones you love, including the baby?,"  
"I will explain everything later." I say down the phone  
"Is it okay if me and Lacey come and stay with you guys?."  
"Of course, how long will you be?"  
"Well, the flight leaves in 1 hour and it’s 5 hours, so I would say about 6 hours."  
"Okay, see you then, love you."  
"love you too." he says hanging up the call.  
"That was James, Chase has gone full pyscho and has started threatening him and his little girl, so they are coming here in about 6 hours, so, we have hours to do whatever we want" I say putting the emphasis on the whatever  
I slowly lift my bum off of the bed and pull my underwear down.  
"I'm going to fuck you, okay?" Ashton says walking back to the bed, stroking his length.  
"Okay, daddy" I say more assertively than I have done before.  
"Get up." He commands  
I follow exactly what he says to do and get up off the bed and stand by the side of it.  
"Take your top off" he says staring at my body "you know I love your body"  
I take my top off, my hands rubbing over my now erect nipples "I need you... daddy"  
"Follow me" he says holding his hand out to mine,  
I take it and follow him into the kitchen, before I can ask what's going on, I'm lifted on to the breakfast bar, legs spread apart.  
"You're my good little girl, aren't you?" Ashton says dropping to his knees so he was level with my spread legs.  
"I am, daddy" I muscles contracting in anticipation "I really am"  
"Good, because you know what happens when you misbehave" he says taking one long lick along my folds right to my clit.  
I moan due to the sudden warmth, my toes curling.  
"You taste good, love" Ashton says looking up at me before going back down and focusing his tongue on my clit, this time adding two of his long fingers inside of me, making me moan a long moan, leaving my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest.  
Ashton kept rhymically pumping his fingers into me and swirling his tongue around my swollen clit until I came.  
"Daddies going to fuck you now, okay?" he says standing up to face me and pumping his now fully erect cock.  
"Okay" I whisper "fuck me, daddy"  
Pushing his cock into me slightly Ashton inhales sharply.  
"You have such a sweet cunt baby girl, and it's all for daddy, isn't it?" He says pushing the rest of his cock into me, stretching me slightly.  
"Stop teasing daddy" I say hoping that he'd listen to me.  
"Baby girl, you're not in charge, are you?" He says withdrawing himself entirely.  
"No, I'm not, sorry daddy" I sigh  
"Good girl" he says pushing himself fully into me whilst using the hand that wasn't behind my back holding me up for support to rub my clit, bringing me to orgasm almost immediately.  
"You're so beautiful when you come, especially around my cock" Ashton says picking up the pace of his thrusts, his cock twitching inside me, his nose screwing up slightly, he was about to come.  
"Baby girl, I'm so close" he says pulling out before jerking his cock over my stomach, his balls contracting with every stroke.  
He groans, releasing onto my stomach.  
"Woah, We're just going to leave and never come back " A strange voice says from across the kitchen.  
Both our heads turn around to the front door to see Calum and Luke stood with wide eyes at the door.  
"Fucking hell guys" Ashton says picking me up and placing me in front of him, holding my body close to him "Give us a minute"  
"We can go" Calum says smirking  
"Sit down, we won't be long" Ashton says basically dragging me into the bedroom.  
"Put this on, quickly" he says throwing me a pair of his boxers and a Beatles t-shirt.  
"What do you guys want?" Ashton sighs as he leaves the bedroom.  
"We were going to ask if you wanted to come over tonight, but it seems like you two have other plans” Luke says looking at his feet clearly avoiding the awkward eye contact.  
“My brother is coming over from LA tonight with his little so we were probably just going to chill here” I say feeling just as awkward as I imagine everyone else is feeling.  
"Oh how come he's staying here?" Calum asks  
"Well Chase has been going crazy again and going mad at my brother and I don't really know but my brother is coming to stay with me because he doesn't want him or his daughter to get hurt which is understandable"  
"Does he know how crazy Chase really is?" Luke quickly added  
Everyone looked at Luke giving him I guess what you call 'the look' as if for him to shut up and not say that chase is crazy.  
"What? Chase is crazy I mean did basically have to pull him off Billie?" Luke said  
"Luke please shut the fuck up you're not helping by bringing things up" Calum practically shouted.  
"No guy it's fine, Luke’s right, I mean I have to accept it at some point and my brother doesn't exactly know how crazy he is I mean he never really met Chase so I guess I'll have to tell him about that and the baby situation.." I said without any tone.  
Everyone just sat quietly looking at their feet even Ashton, but in all consideration we had just been caught doing one of the things you don't want others to see. I decided to quickly change the conversation to something I guess the guys would be more interested in.  
"My brothers little girl loves music and dogs so I was wondering if when me and Ashton go talk to my brother about the whole situation do you guys think you could bring like musical instruments or something to entertain her and watch her play with Zack and Cody?" I knew it was a lot to ask but I needed to honestly speak to my brother.  
“Of course we will” Calum says smiling “We’ll bring Mikey too, we all know he’ll get on well with her”  
Luke and Calum left about 5 minutes later, as soon as the door was shut I was wrapped up in Ashton’s arms.  
“Everything will be okay love”


	24. Visitors

The guys had left about an hour ago to allow us to do whatever before going to pick James and Lacey up from the airport which left me and Ashton about 3 hours to so whatever we wanted. I laid there in bed looking at Ashton, admiring his beauty.  
"What?" Ashton giggles  
"I just can't believe that only 4 months ago when we got together and now we're gonna have a baby and my life can't be any greater!" I say cuddling into him.  
"You've changed my life so much for the better and I'll forever love you for that and I'll always love the little peanut too" he say cuddling me back.  
We laid there for around half an hour, I later woke myself up by some weird noise which sounded a lot like a photo being taken. I opened my eyes slowly to see a phone in my face with Ashton smiling in the background.  
"What are you doing stop" I say laughing hiding my face under the covers.  
"I just wanted to seize the moment on how beautiful my fiancé looks sleeping" he says hiding under the sheets as well.  
"You're so silly some times I love you"  
"I love you too" he says   
I look at the clock at the side of the bed and realise that we only have an hour and half till James and Lacey arrive.  
"Best get up now sleeping beauty" I say laughing whilst going to the bathroom.  
"Shall I go put a movie on?" Ashton says putting on some clothes.  
"Yeah I'm gonna have a quick shower I'll be 5 minutes" I say shutting the door behind me.  
The warm water quickly fell onto my body but what seemed like a second must have been longer as I was interrupted by Ashton.  
"You said you'd be 5 minutes come on other wise I'll just have to join you" I could tell he was smirking behind the door.   
"Yeah just a minute" I say as I power off the water.   
There was tiny bits of what seemed like blood in the bottom of the shower but they were soon washed away as the water finally turned off. I guessed it was off my legs or something as I had just quickly shaven them. Finally after drying myself and getting dressed I sat down next to Ashton on the sofa. The Breakfast Club, one of the few films I can watch over and over again and never get bored. Ashton and I had decided to relax before my brother and Lacey finally get here, the guys said they would pick them up and bring them ours so me and Ashton could get everything done.   
“How come you like this movie so much?" Ashton asked   
“It never get’s old, it came out 40 years ago” I laugh “It’s so relatable”  
"Well this is finished now so what do you want to do?" His smirk grew bigger in his face  
"As much as I love you my brother and the guys should be here soon and I don't want to be caught... Again" I say blushing but also laughing.  
"Shall I go make the bed then?" Ashton says.  
"Yeah I'll tidy up on her me the others should be here soon" I say   
Ashton had been in the bedroom about 10 minutes and I was quite confused as to what was taking him so long to make the bed. As I approached the bedroom I could hear what sounded like faint cries so I swing the door open as quickly as possible.   
"Ashton what's wrong!?" I say with concern in my voice as Ashton was sitting on the half made bed scrolling through something on his phone with tears rolling down his face  
"Billie I" he couldn't finish his sentence.  
"Pass me your phone what's going on?" I say a little annoyed at this point.  
"No I don't think you should see it?" He says trying to cover up his phone.  
"Give it me Ashton i swear to god!" I say snatching his phone out his hand to see google searches for 'bleeding during pregnancy'. "Ashton what the hell is going on I say as I sit on the bed next to him" getting upset myself now.  
"Billie I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I'm such a fucking idiot!" He says punching the mattress.   
"Ashton calm down! What's going on you're scaring me!" I shout to be heard.  
"I came in here to make the bed like you said and!" His tone lowers "there was blood on the mattress, I googled it and it can be from sex and you could have lost the baby. Billie please I know I'm an idiot but I didn't mean to do this, I promise!" He says trying to reach for my hand.  
"Lost the baby what do you mean lost the baby!? Ashton Do you mean to say I've lost the baby?" I say crying.   
"Guess who'se here" I hear the guys shout with my brother.   
"Billie what's wrong," my brother says as he find us.   
"I've lost the baby" I say crying into ashton.  
"What baby? You were pregnant? What?" My brother says   
"She was gonna have a baby man" Calum says  
"How do you know you've lost the baby?" Michael says.  
"This is so awkward you're all guys why don't I have any girlfriend to talk to" I say crying even more. "There's blood stains in the bed and there's a chance i miscarried," I say.   
"What? But Carly, she used to bleed before having Lacey it can be a normal process? She said it used to be something like it's because your lady area is changing and stretching so it can do that?" my brother says   
"You have to be checked" Ashton says with a tear down his face.  
"I don't want to have lost this baby. It's too early. I just want to be a mom” I sniffle “I can’t lose him, I can’t lose another baby”  
“We’ll go to the emergency room” Ashton says grabbing my hand and running his thumb over the back.

The guys and my brother decided to take their car whilst it was just me and Ashton in his car. The silence was so weird I couldn't take it.   
"Ashton will you still love me" I asked looking out the window crying.  
"Billie." Ashton says still driving.  
"Ashton I don't know if I can cope with potentially losing my baby and you" I say turning to look at him.  
"I will always love you. Nothing can stop me from loving you. I want you to know that I will love you till my very last breath and even then my love will still go on because I'll be watching over you" he says moving one of his hands from the steering wheel.  
"You already do look over me, you all do, you're all such tall shits" I say laughing through the tears that were pouring down my face.  
"Hey! No swearing! He says putting his hand on mine.  
"Will you still want to be with me if I lose the baby or if I can never have children?" I say looking at him.  
"I just told you. Nothing can stop me loving you. We can make it through anything, me and you. We're like a record. We’re classic." He says smiling whilst looking at the road.  
"What if the record is broken though?" I say.  
"Just because a record is broken doesn't mean that it stops becoming a classic. It becomes more appreciated and beautiful. I'll never not love you no matter what! Let's see what the doctors say before you get too upset okay" he says.  
"I guess so" I say looking at the guys car in front.  
Both cars pulled up in front of the hospital and as we all got out all I could do was cry again. All these guys here I felt like I had let them all down, especially Ashton.  
"Come on let's go," Ashton said taking my hand.  
The guys and my brother followed behind us, the waiting room was half full and made me so anxious with everyone looking at us like I had 5 dads or something. Ashton went up to the desk to book me in for an emergency check and we had only been waiting for 3 minutes before a doctor came into the waiting room.  
"Miss Cooper" the female doctor said.  
I looked at Ashton who held my hand and looked at the other who all smiles and had their thumbs up the idiots.  
We got into the room and I just felt like I was losing myself with the nerves.  
“Would you like to tell me what is the problem?” The doctor says  
“My fiancée was bleeding earlier, she’s three months pregnant” Ashton says still holding my hand “We think there may be a possibility that she has miscarried”  
“Now, Miss Cooper, have you ever miscarried before?” The doctor says whilst typing away on her computer.  
“Yes, once, 3 years ago” I say bluntly  
“Right, if you’d like to get up on the bed, I’ll do a scan to see what’s going on” she says picking up an ultrasound machine and the cream.  
“Don’t panic love” Ashton whispers in my ear “It will be okay”  
“This will be cold, Miss Cooper” she says squeezing some of the cream out onto my growing stomach.  
The familiar sound of heartbeats flooded the room.  
“Here you are, this is baby” The doctor says smiling “baby is healthy and well”  
“He’s fine” Ashton sighs in relief “He’s fine, doll”

We said thank you to the doctor and made our way back into the waiting room to see Michael, Luke and Calum all playing with Lacey whilst James watched.  
“B, what did she say?” Luke says jumping up and running over to hug me  
“He’s fine” I whisper “I get to have my baby.”


	25. Kicks

Last week’s doctor’s appointment was still playing on my mind, being so close to losing the baby just put everything into perspective on how lucky I really am to have everything ever wanted with someone I love. Looking back at everything made me realise how selfish I was only a few months ago, pushing Ashton away, actually almost losing him at one point. I looked down at my small but still prominent bump as I felt some movement, knowing there is a baby inside me made me feel all strange. I’ve never had this much responsibility.  
"Ashton quick come here!” I shouted hearing a slight thud on the floor I guessed he had fallen out of bed. "Quickly what are you a snail!?” I laughed.  
”What’s wrong?” he said slightly out of breath.  
“the baby moving feel it” I said smiling grabbing his hand and putting it on my bump.  
Ashton kept his hand on my bump for around five minutes feeling the baby wriggle around. I’ve seen him smile a million times before, but I’ve never seen a happier beautiful smile. His eyes were glowing and passion was radiating off him.   
“Billie I’m planning something for tonight and I kind of need you to dress nice? I-I mean you dress nice everyday but i mean like extra nice ya'know? Shit I’m really bad at this. What I meant was it’s like a business party and i was just wondering could you wear like a dress or something you know like sophisticated and all that?” he said sounding more like a question than anything else.“Obviously I can silly, what’s this all about anyway it’s not like you to have business parties?” I questioned him only to be greeted with a smile. “What are you up to Ashton!? ”  
“Nothing” just wait till later I just want everything to go as I planned.  
“How did you plan it?” I asked with a smile.  
“Well I certainly didn't plan for you to ask this many questions...” He said looking straight at me. “Can you just start to get ready for the party later, I have to go tell the guys about it” he says smiling at me.  
“I guess so" I say walking closer to him. “How long will you be? I just... I don't want to be home along long?” I say stopping in front of him.  
“half an hour to an hour max, I'll be home before you know it just will you be ready by the time I get back? I just have to get the guys and I into a suit and as you can imagine that's not easy" he says giggling.  
“Yeah try not to be very long though” I say kissing him on the cheek then walking away.  
“I won't" he says as he grabs his coat and heads toward the front door.  
I stop to turn around watching him leave.  
“I love you” he says before leaving.  
“I love you as well” I said as he already shut the door.  
Be ready in an hour? It was just 6 now, 7 would quickly come. I had so much to do, what would I even wear? After confusing myself on what I should do first I decided to have a quick shower, shaving every necessary area before drying myself off. Wrapping the towel around my body, I then went to grab the hair dryer and dry my hair which took longer than normal. I never even contemplated what I would wear all I could think about was food, being pregnant was so tiring all my energy went on thinking what should I next eat so I decided to quickly get something to eat. As I walked towards the kitchen, I saw a letter on the floor which was odd as it was about 6:30pm, reaching for it I noticed the familiar messy writing. I quickly ripped it open to only see a messy sentence.   
'Darkness will follow you wherever you go, watch out for me tonight'. This reccurring feeling of pain always hit me whenever I thought of Chase. I had to move on, he was the past and I had to leave him there no matter what. I completely forgot about getting food so I just went and got ready again, straightening my hair and rushing my makeup but still turning out somewhat decent, I then went to go look on what to wear. A slim black dress sprung out in front of me.   
Ashton clearly forgetting to tell me he bought me it for this event. The dress was a black maxi dress elegantly flowing to the floor, it curved my body in every form, my chest to my bump and then to my bum, it showed everything so well not forgetting the low v cut back. It was an elegant statement for me, something I wasn't quite accustomed to. The doorbell rung soon followed by a door shutting.  
“Billie you ready? The guys are in the car outside” I heard Ashton say.  
“Yeah just a second” I say looking one last time before going into the living room. “Ashton could you just zip this up at the back I can't reach it” I say gesturing to the small zip at the lowest point of the dress just about my bum.   
“Yeah sure give us a twirl doll” he says smirking.   
I followed his orders and turned around exposing my bare back. I felt the zip do up then followed by his fingers trailing up my back sending shivers across my body.  
“You look so lovely doll” he says whispering in my ear then kissing below it.   
I let out a slight groan missing his touch so much.   
“I'm glad you like the dress babe, I'm sure you'll love what i have planned next” he says grabbing my hand leading me to the door. “Who's the letter for?” he asks just as were leaving seeing the letter on the side.  
“Oh, it's the for people that lived here before us, nothing to worry about” I say gently tugging him out the door in which he then shuts.  
“I'm so ready for tonight” Ashton laughs adjusting the tie on his suit.


	26. Texts and Speeches

"Ashton this room is amazing!" I say looking around at the elegant yet simplistic room filled with people dressed in extremely expensive clothes.

"I want to introduce you to Laura, she's signed to our label but she's also Luke's girlfriend" Ashton says as we approach Luke and a mousy brown haired girl.

"Hey, it's lovely to meet you!" She says hugging me. "My names Laura" she says pulling out of the hug smiling.

"Hello, I'm Billie" I say just smiling back at her. "Lovely to meet you too!".

I hadn't noticed that Ashton was no longer by my side and I was now stood on my own.

"Hey Billie we'll be back in a second just want to get a drink, did you want anything?" Luke asks.

"No no I'll be okay thanks, can't have any alcohol anyway" I say smiling.

I made my way around to I guess what could be classed as the dance floor but was more of gathering and movement to the music. The sound of soft playing music was replaced through the mic feedback as everyone looked towards the stage to see Ashton giving a small speech.

————-

A few hours had passed and everyone had been dancing for a few hours when Ashton and the guys had gone off for a quick business briefing with someone from their office clearly important.

"Hey babe" I hear a voice say from behind me. "You look gorgeous in that dress" with the music so loud for a moment I thought it was Ashton but the more I thought about the more I knew who it was. Chase, I was warned earlier but I just ignored it. My eyes scanned for Ashton or any of the guys but I couldn't find them and my heart stopped.

"Chase... Get off me please" I said, my voice certainty not giving off the toughness I wished for.

"I liked view from here" he says grabbing my bum making me move forward slightly.

"Chase please leave me alone, I don't love you." I said turning to face him.

"Don't say that." He says so straight faced putting one hand on the side of my face.

"I don't love you Chase, I'm with Ashron now and I've never been happier, if you go now I won't say anything to anyone or the police just leave me please" I say no emotion visible.

"Come with me now" he says grabbing my hand tightly pulling me towards the entrance of the venue.

My attempt of pulling away failed and before I knew it here I was at the entrance of the venue surrounded by nobody but a staircase leading somewhere unknown.

"You shouldn't have called the cops on Billie, that was the worst thing you could ever have done was double cross me, I lost my job because of you" he says pushing me against a wall.

"Are you kidding me!? You stalked me, you made me loose all trust in you, you made me loose the first ever baby I could have had, you're ruining my life and family and you tried to rape me. I doesn't matter what I do to you as punishment it will never hurt you as much as you've hurt me. Then you have audacity to come over and pull me away from my fiancés venue to tell me about how shit your life is? You're a dick and I hate you and I'll never love y-" yet again I was stopped from speaking with a massive smack to my face, I quickly moved my hand to my face trying to cool the heated area.

"You don't deserve to be happy, your life is a mess you don't get to be happy anymore" he says laughing at me before raising his hand at me again.

"Get the fuck away from her" Ashron rushes in knocking Chase's head back with a punch.

"Haha oh look who showed up, where have you been? I've have a while with her, oh how I love being around her might have to spend more time with her again" chase says laughing.

"Babe go with Luke and James right now, I won't be long I just need to get rid of this cockroach" Ashton says holding him against the wall.

"Billie lets go" Luke says holding my hand tugging it lightly in which I followed.

"I shouldn't have left Ashton with chase I need to go back" I say pulling away from Luke only to be met by my brothers arms.

"No we're going home come on" James says lightly pulling me towards their car.

20 minutes had passed and we finally got back to the apartment. My head was just spinning, I could feel my anxiety building I just hoped Ashton would be okay, I mean he had Michael and Calum with him too?

"I'm hungry" Lacey says tugging on James arm.

"Luke can you take James and Lacey out for a meal or some dinner idk I just need some time alone please" I say.

"You sure?" Luke says questioning my judgment.

"Yeah just go please" I say again.

"Do you want anything bringing back?" James says.

"No please just go, I'm gonna watch a movie or something I just want to relax please, can you just stay at Lukes or something for tonight?" I say.

"Yeah sure, Luke is that okay?" James says looking at Luke.

"Yeah let's go." He says opening the front door. "Lacey shall we see how much ice cream we can eat?" Luke says laughing but then innocently smiling at James.

They left and I was glad to be alone, I locked the front door making sure I would be okay in my own. I usually hate being alone but this time I just needed to be alone and clear my head. I sat on the sofa and quickly grabbed my phone and began to text Ashton.

  
_'Ashton where are you?xx'_ I text

  
_'Ash, baby, please reply'_ I text again no reply after 10 minutes.

  
_'I'm at the emergency room love'_ Ashton texts back and I quickly respond

  
_'WHY ARE YOU AT THE ER?'_ I respond quickly.

  
_'Don't be mad love.'_ He responds

  
_'I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at him'_ I text back.

  
_'I'll be home soon, don't worry, nothing a bit of your love can't fix'_ with that one text a small smile appeared on my face.

  
_'I'll run is a nice bath and we'll cuddle x'_ I text back

  
_'I can't wait beautiful x'_ and now I had to wait for him to come home.


	27. Split Lip and Doubts

“Billie, can you come here?” Ashton shouts from the bathroom.  
“Give me a second” I say getting up from the white sofa and pausing the latest episode of American Horror Story”  
“Will you clean my lip?” Ashton says as I walk through the door “It’s stings” he says raising his finger to his split lip caused by Chase.  
“Of course I will” I say running a wash cloth under the warm tap in the sink “What happened to Chase”  
“He left with a broken nose” Ashton says laughing slightly “arsehole”

My bump was getting bigger day by day, everything becomes twice as difficult when pregnant.   
I really don't know how Ashron has managed to stay with me through the whole pregnancy thing all I do is make a lot of old lady moans and struggling to move. I walked back over to the sink where I had once cleaned up Ashton's cut lip, placing each hand on the side of the basin looking at the taps feeling sick.   
“Doll you feeling okay?” Ashton says coming over rubbing my back.  
“Yeah, I'll be okay” I say still standing there.  
“Doll you should get some sleep, you don't look too good” he says lifting my arm and putting it around his shoulder leading me towards the bedroom.  
“H-how long will you be? I was kind of hoping for a cuddle or something” I say feeling awful from the sickness.  
“I'm just gonna tidy up and get a drink,I’ll be 15 minutes” he says kissing me on the cheek.  
I stripped into my pyjamas and slowly sat on the bed, my hand placed on my back, I suddenly felt tired I couldn't stay up for Ashton so I just fell asleep.  
\-------------  
I was quickly awoken by a loud smashing noise making me rise from bed a little too quickly, having to hold onto the Wall to steady myself from going dizzy.   
“Fuck.” I heard Ashton say.  
“Ashton you okay?” I quietly say.  
“Don't come in here” Ashton shouts just as I enter the living room. “I said don't come in here Billie!” Ashton says raising his voice more.  
“Have you been drinking?” I say looking at the smashed bottle on the floor.  
“Leave me alone Billie. Just go to bed” Ashton says.  
“Why would I leave you when you're drunk and mad?” I say beginning to raise my voice a little.  
“God damn it Billie because it's 2am and you should be sleeping that's why!” Ashton shouts.  
“Don't shout at me because you're drunk! Why are you drinking anyway! You were supposed to come to bed with me Ashton, or do you not want to sleep next to me anymore?” I shout.  
“Why don't you just shut up and go back to sleep and leave me in peace!” Ashton continues to shout.  
“You want to be left in peace? Really do you? Well guess what next time you want to get drunk and shout at me don't come home because I refuse to be around aggressive drunks. I'm not going through exactly what Chase did to me.” I shout.  
“I'm nothing like that fucking dick don't ever compare me to him!” Ashton says then throwing his drink at the wall behind me.  
“Oh and now we're throwing things as if the shouting wasn't enough!” I say walking away into the bedroom.  
“Billie I'm sorry” Ashton says running behind me leaning down in from of me on the bed.  
“You wanted to be left alone so in go.” I say getting back into bed.  
“Billie wait” Ashton says taking his clothes off, leaving him in his boxer shorts, then joining me in bed.  
“You wanted to be left alone so get away from me Ashton” I say turning to not face him.  
“I'm just worried about the baby, you said the other day that you don't think you'll be a good mum but I know you will be and children never stop loving their mum but they can always stop loving their dad. My dad left us. Billie, he couldn't take it. What if I can't deal with it? I don't want my children to grow up hating me. I want to be the best dad ever but what if I'm not good enough” Ashton finally said, barely understand him as he chocked on his tears.  
“I'm sorry for saying you're like Chase, because you won’t ever be! You're better than him and you care that's why I love you. You will be the greatest dad alive. I know how much you love me so keep on doubling the amount up until the day you die. You're the best thing that has ever happened in my messed up life. I'll never be able to thank you enough for giving me everything I ever wanted. I love you.” I say  
“I don't deserve you” Ashton says crying.  
“Stop crying and sleep” I say as Ashton rests his head on my chest.  
“I love you” I say  
“I love you too doll” Ashton says  
“I think we should call the baby Kit” I say twisting some of Ashton’s hair in my fingers “Kit Alexander Irwin”  
“I think that’s lovely doll” Ashton says kissing my forehead “Alex will love it”  
“Oh shit” I say laughing “I haven’t told him yet”  
“How have you not told your own brother?” Ashton says joining in the laughing fit I was now having   
“We’ve had too many distractions” I say “I’ll ring him in the morning”  
“Okay doll” Ashton says placing his hands on my stomach “I want to take baby to Central Park tomorrow”  
“We’ll all go out for lunch, yeah?” I say putting my hands over his “ Us, James and Lacey”   
“I can’t wait” He says smiling “Where are they? ”  
“At Lukes” I sigh “I wanted to be alone, I just ate cookies and cuddled the puppies”  
“I bet you watched The Breakfast Club?” He laughs   
“I may have done” I say smiling and laughing  
“Thank you” Ashton says “I love you”


	28. Ice Cream and Princesses

I woke up earlier than I usually did, looking over to Ashton in the bed just calmed me down knowing that I was going through this pregnancy with him was the best. I was quickly reminded why I was awoken so early and it was the baby moving and oh god could I feel it. It didn't even hurt it was just like a tickle but you just couldn't stop it and it was bizarre. I debated whether to wake Ashton I know he liked to feel the baby move, but he looks so cute sleeping.  
“Ashton baby, wake up please” I failed to get a response.  
“Billie it's early, as much as I love you, please shut up” he says with a groggy morning voice with a light giggle at the end.  
“The baby is moving so wake up now or else I swear to God if you don't feel this right now I will tie you up butt naked and get the guys in here whilst I call you daddy” I say laughing.  
“Sometimes I really dislike how you have such control over me” he says turning over sleepy putting his hands on my stomach along with mine.  
“Kit Alexander Irwin can you please stay still for mummy please, she has a poorly tummy with all your moving” I say turning my head to nuzzle into Ashton's neck.  
“Hey you just said mummy” he says smiling.  
“Oh yeah, it's unreal that I will be one soon, I guess I better get used to it, maybe you should get used to hearing daddy more often” I say smirking knowing that he would too.  
“Oh my god I forgot that I'd get called that” he says laughing. “You should phone Alex, don't forget! I'm gonna have a shower and then we can get some breakfast before we meet James and Lacey and take them out later. You're eating for two and I'm too lazy to cook so we'll eat out okay?” He says.  
“I don't know how I'll tell him, I'm nervous and that sounds like a plan to me” I say smiling at him.  
“Use your phone and go hey crazy thing happened I'm pregnant, miss you lots much love see you later off to get food with my super hot sexy boyfriend” he says laughing as he realises what he said.   
**  
I did a mini squeal of excitement as we pulled up to the coffee shop where me and ashton went when we first met.  
“How did Alex take the baby news”  
“He cried, a lot, because he obviously knew what happened with chase and the fact we are finally getting a boy in the family” I say laughing “and then I told him the name and he cried even more”  
“I’m glad you finally told him, we should invite him and the family down for a weekend” Ashton says smiling “Just so he can see his baby sisters baby bump”  
**  
“I've enjoyed today so much Ashton” I say reaching for his hand on the grass.  
“I can't wait to be a dad, we get to play everyday, I can't wait to meet little Kit” ash says smiling at me.  
“I was thinking about the-” I say stopping as Lacey interrupts me.  
“Ashton can you play princess with me?, I asked Luke yesterday but he's too tall” Lacey says.  
“Why don't you ask Billie? She's the princess here” Ashton says smiling at her then looking at me.  
“Billie will you please, boys can't play princess like girls” The little girl with dark brown pigtails says to me  
“Shall me and you go get some ice cream for the smelly boy and play princess on the way?” I say standing up holding out my hand  
“Yaaay can I have the pink ice cream one” she shouts.  
“Shall we get Ashton a pink one as well” I say laughing as does Lacey.  
“Billie you sure? Do you want me to come in case?” Ashton says moving his eyebrows together into a frown.  
“I'm only getting ice cream” I say smiling at him.   
“Come on (kid) let's get us some ice cream” I say doing a little curtsy so the small girl who stood there clapping her hands and begin to then walk off.  
“Hey Billie!" I turn around to hear ash say  
“I'm not getting you sprinkles” I say laughing  
“You look like a hot mom to me. I'm proud of you now please I want sprinkles!” He says, waving like a maniac.  
**

Lacey had been in bed for about half an hour when me. James and Ashton decided to order some take-out and to put a movie on. After a very heated discussion we finally all settled on watching Guardians of the Galaxy.

“Sometimes I think I love Chris Pratt more than you” I say to Ashton laughing  
“Well, sometimes I think I love Zoe Saldana more than you” he says pecking me on the lips “I doubt she’s anywhere close to being a better kisser than you though”  
We both turned around to see James coming into the living room with the take-out making gagging noises.  
“You guys are gross” he sighs dramatically “I have some news for you two”  
“Go-on” I say looking slightly worried   
“Well, Carly, as you know was in the same boat as me, with the drug abuse and stuff, she didn’t get clean, which is why I have custody of Lacey” He says putting the food on the coffee table.  
“Are you going to lose Lacey?” I ask  
“Quite the opposite, I got a call from Carly this morning saying that the divorce was finalised today”  
“I didn’t know you were getting divorced?” I say “since when was that a thing? ”  
“Since she got pregnant with another man’s baby” He sighs “basically because of the divorce and her still being an addict, the court said I should move Lacey away from that situation, so I figured, we’d move here”   
“That would be amazing” I squeal, jumping up from the sofa to hug but then remembering that there was a tiny human on my front now and things aren’t as easy as they used to be  
“Me and Lacey could help out when the baby arrives too, she’s so excited to have someone to play princesses with, I haven’t broken the news that it’s a boy yet”

We stayed up for a few more hours before we all decided to go to bed.  
“I have someone I want you too meet tomorrow, he’s going to be working with you at the record store” Ashton says as he wraps his arms around me “He’s an old friend, he’s called Taylor, you’ll love him”


	29. Baby Scares

“So Ashton what's this Taylor like? Is he like super hot or is he just super cool and relaxed?” I say waking up in a good mood knowing Ashton had something to show me.  
“Doll I'm the only hot one, I hope you don't look at others when you have me” he says moving his hands under the bed sheets strolling up the inside of my leg.  
“I was only joking, how could I ever not love you” I say leaning to kiss his broad shoulder.  
“I think you'll like Taylor he's a cool guy, I've known him for years” he says turning to smile at me.  
“Any friend of yours is a friend of mine” I say smiling to him .  
“You start at nine right?” Ashton says more as a question than a statement.  
“I work for you so I start whenever you want me to silly” I say laughing.  
“Well we have half hour before you start then so what do you want to do?” Ashton says smirking.  
“I have do have a shower, but you can join me if you want? My back really aches anyways so I was hoping you give me a massage in the shower or something?” I say giving Ashton the puppy dog eyes “This is your fault anyway” I laugh pointing at my belly.  
“I can certainly do that for you” Ashton says so bluntly but with feelings, obviously wanting more.  
We were in the shower for about 20 minutes, Ashton giving me the best massage ever relieving me of any pain I had. This was the one thing I didn't enjoy about being pregnant not being able as a sort relieve Ashton when he needed it. We both took ten minutes to dry our hair and quickly get dressed, knowing we would be late to the record shop we took no time to walk there only a few blocks away.  
“You two are late” a unfamiliar voice says as me and Ashton walk through the door.  
“Taylor I know it's your first day but chill out” Ashton says laughing going up bro hugging him.  
“Hey you must be Billie! I've heard lots about you! He really does love you, it's all I hear!” He says laughing holding out his hand for a subtle hand shake.  
Taylor was a soft presence to be around, it relaxed me being around Ashton and Taylor so relaxed themselves. He was a tall rugged kind of structure but somehow not intimidating. His black hair softly rolled over his face, his green eyes just glimmered every time he smiled which was all the time.  
“So Taylor do you have a girlfriend?” I say breaking the ice smiling at him.  
“Oh didn't Ashton tell you?” He says giggling  
“Tell me what?” I say looking at Ashton.  
“I'm gay! I don't need a lady to hold me down, find me a strong man and I'll be happy!” He says laughing  
“I forgot? I'm so used to him like he is, I don't judge him any differently!” Ashton says laughing pulling me into a hug.  
“I have to go to a meeting, I'm gonna be late! Phone me if you need me guys” Ashton says shouting as he leaves the store.  
“Looks like this will be a quick 6 hour shift! Its nice working with nice people it makes work go quicker!” Taylor says walking behind the cash register.  
“What's that?" I say walking around the cash register to a assorted collection of CDs labled 'songs to make your girl happy' I say smiling as I saw all my favourite CDs; The 1975, All Time Low, Set It Off and laughing at the 5 Seconds of Summer CD, Ashton had clearly placed in.  
“Oh yeah he said that was dedicated to you, so you can always play your favourite songs here” he says smiling at me.  
“Oh Ashton told me about Chase too so I'll look out for you!” He says smiling even more.  
The 6 hour shift soon passed, and I was supposed to wait inside until Ashton walked in.  
“I'm here to escort my fiancé home, thank you Taylor for looking out for her bro” Ashton says as I begin to walk out the store with him.  
“It was lovely meeting you Taylor” I say waving as we leave.  
We left the store and got about 3 blocks away from home before Ashton spoke.  
“Well I thought you'd say something about how it went so it's either gone badly or?” Ashton says pausing between “how was it? Do you get on?” Ashton says squeezing my hand a little tighter looking at me.  
“I love him! He's so kind!” I say laughing with a huge smile.  
“I hope you don't love him more than me?” Ashton says pouting.  
“Feel this” I say reaching for Ashton's hand placing them on my small bump feeling the baby move. “This little baby is yours and I'm glad it's yours. I love you and I'll never stop loving you so please don't doubt me” I say looking at him, his tall figure standing above me.  
“You well and truly are amazing doll, I love you” Ashton says kissing my forehead.

**  
Ashton and James had gone out to some fancy business meal, Ashton had tried to take me but I encouraged him to take James as he was going to be moving here and could do with some good contacts, I was on babysitting duty of Lacey, which was definitely not a problem.

“Billie, what are you going to call your baby?” Lacey says to me whilst watching Spongebob Square Pants  
“We’re going to call him Kit” I say smiling, playing with Lacey’s hair “Kit Alexander”  
“I thought it was a girl?” She says turning around and frowning “Will he play princesses with me?”  
“If you ask nice-“ I was cut off by aggressive banging at the door  
“Lacey, go and take my phone and hide” I say placing her on the floor so she was now standing “go and call someone, don’t come out until I shout for you”  
I knew exactly who it was, I was not going to let him ruin my life anymore.

Turning the TV over to a more grown up channel, I got up to answer the door, I didn’t want him knowing Lacey was here.

“Chase please, just leave, I don’t want this anymore” I say sternly as I opened the door  
“For fuck sake Billie” he sighs “When are you going to learn that I don’t want to hurt you”  
“You need to leave” I say pushing him out of the doorway “You need to get over me”  
“Over you?, Billie, I’ve not loved you since you since you became a whore” He spits  
“I’m not a whore” I spit back, with just as much hatred in my voice “I never have been”  
“You’ve known Ashton for a few months and you are already pregnant” He laughs  
“I deserve a second chance at being a mom” I say attempting to push him out of the door again, praying that Lacey had called someone  
“Billie, get off me” He says calmly which scared me more “I hate to do this” He carries on turning me around so my back was now against the wall, his hands either side of my head  
“Why do you get a second chance at being a parent, when I don’t” He says with a completely feral look on his face  
“You killed our baby, our baby never got to live, because of you” I say tears spilling over my eyes “You killed a harmless unborn child, you are a sick human Chase”  
“You made me kill it, it was either the baby or you, infanticide isn’t illegal in New York babe” He says hitting the wall beside me with both his hands.

Chase was suddenly flung off of me by another broad male, Luke.  
“I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HER” Luke shouts “THIS TIME I’M NOT GOING TO FUCKING STOP”  
“Luke, leave him” I say timidly “He’s not worth it”  
Chase got up and begrudgingly walks away  
“I’ll be seeing you again Billie” He shouts back to me “Always a pleasure Luke”  
I shouted for Lacey to come out as we walked back into the apartment  
“I was scared Billie” Lacey said as she came running out of the bathroom “Ashton and Daddy didn’t answer their phones”  
“but Princess Luke did” Luke laughs.

"Yeah, just see to Lacey for a second, I need to sit down" I say sitting down on the floor watching Luke take Lacey into the living room.

I say there for about 10 minute hearing sponge bob blare away with Luke laughing at it as well as Lacey. My stomach hurt but I did not know if it was from the stress or if something was wrong but it feels like I was being kicked. I just sat there on the floor breathing heavily making low grunts every 5 minutes, praying that these weren't contractions as the baby was no where near due.

"Hey Billie sponge bob has finished can we come out now?" Luke says.

I was not able to answer so Luke came out anyways, quickly rushing over to me.

"Billie what the fuck, are you okay?" He says leaning near me.

"Yeah I'm okay just go and wa-" unable to finish my sentence but another low grunt the pain returning.

"Billie I think this is the baby" Luke says a little confused.

"Phone Ashton Luke please. I need him" I say crying as Luke ran into the kitchen and phone Ashton.

"No answer! Billie what do I do?" Luke's presence was the only thing keeping me calm right now.

"Take me to the hospital please. Luke help me please" I say crying even more.

Luke picked me up bridal style which caused me to moan in pain and Lacey following behind him to the car with me.

"Luke it can't be early, it can't be" I say pausing to breathe "it's early Luke, help me please" I say still crying struggling for breath, starting to have one of my panic attacks.

"Billie breathe we're nearly there I'll phone Ashton now" Luke says attempting to phone Ashton this time with a reply, in which Luke quickly passed me his phone.

"Ashton help me please, the baby, I -I think somethings wrong. Please get here Ashton I need you, please help me" I say begging for his presence.

We pulled up outside the hospital when Luke rushed out the car to get help to carry me inside in which I was quickly placed in a wheelchair.

"Billie are you okay?" Lacey asks but I couldn't reply. I was quickly separated from Luke and Lacey and put onto a bed with nursed surrounding me.

"Okay miss?" The nurse says questioning me

"Miss Cooper, Billie Cooper" I say.

"Okay Billie you need to calm down, you're having a panic attack. You're in good hands just slowly breathe" the nurse said which only stressed me out more.

"BILLIE!?" Ashton says running into the room

"Ash help me please - I can't breathe - the baby - it's early " I say crying.

"Okay Billie look at me. Breathe in, and out. Look at me, in and out" he says only slightly calming me.

My heart rate rose again quickly as this time the pain worsened.  
Screaming as loud as I could holding onto Ashton's arm as he looked at me with fear, never seeing me in this much pain.

"Billie you need to calm down. If you stay at this heart rate it's cutting oxygen off to the baby" the nurse says trying to calm me but yet again only stressing me out more.

"Billie, you are fine, the baby is fine, please relax" the nurse says "The baby is fine, you are having a panic attack"

"Billie, please, breath" Ashton whispers from beside me "Kit's fine"

"Miss Cooper, the reason, you feeling like this is because you've had a severe panic attack" the doctor says "We'll need to keep you in tonight to monitor you" she adds walking next to me with some heart monitor patches.

"I love you too so much" Ashton says wiping tears away from his eyes "You mean the world to me, darling."


	30. Pizza and Movies

I woke up in the hospital, the clean white room was almost too bright for me to open my eyes fully. Ashton was lying beside me with his hands on my stomach, he looks so beautiful.

 

“Ashton?” I say wigging underneath him so he’d wake up   
“Hey” He says yawning as he opened his hazel eyes “How are you doing? ”  
“I feel a lot better than yesterday” I say reaching to hold one of Ashton’s hands “Do they know what was wrong? ”  
“The doctor said that you have a small bleed in your womb, which is completely normal and that everything inside is stretching so, that’s most likely what caused the pain but the panic attack was severe so that didn’t help” he says accepting my hand in his “Kit is fine, he is healthy and growing as he should be”  
“I’m so scared Ashton” I admit squeezing his hand “I’m so scared he will be taken away from me”  
“I will let nothing happen to you or to Kit” His thumbs now rubbing the backs of my hands being careful of the cannula that was in the back of my hand “I promise”  
“Chase told me that he wanted to kill me, but he killed the baby because he knew he wouldn’t be prosecuted” I say as a tear falls from my eye  
“Luke didn’t tell me Chase was there” Ashton sighs “Billie, I think we need to move house”  
“Ashton, I can’t let us move just because of him” I state “He can’t do this to us”  
“I have another apartment, it’s a little further away from Central Park but it’s nice, I’ll be able to protect you until then”  
“I love you” I sigh, I was not in the mood to argue “When can I get out of here”  
“I’ll go and find out” He says sitting up and getting off of the hospital bed and walking towards and then out of the door.

***

 

"Can you invite the guys over?" I ask Ashton. "I really want to see them".  
"Are you sure?, I mean you’ve not long come out of the hospital and you’ve had a really stressful time recently". Ashton questions.  
"Please Ashton I just want things to get back to normal, I want to see the guys" I say weakly smiling at him.  
"Okay, shall I invite Taylor round too but I’ll tell him to bring some pizza with him if you want?" Ashton says going to the kitchen table to pick up his phone.  
"Yes please" I say smiling even though I knew Ashton wasn’t looking.  
"The guys said that they would be over in about ten minutes because he’s just getting the pizza and stuff".  
"Can you put a movie on, like mean girls or something" I say unable to move as both Zack and Cody were laying on me.  
"Of course I can doll, you know Luke will be stupid happy when he sees that Mean Girls is on, probably even quote it about a hundred times" Ashton says laughing also making me laugh.  
The guys and Taylor arrived at the same time practically falling through the front door. I was in the kitchen getting plates out ready for when the guys and I were going to have pizza, but I was quickly spun around away from the worktop and drawn into what seemed like Michael’s arms but I could tell as all the guys were taller than me and I couldn’t look up from how tight I was being hugged.  
"I’m so glad you’re okay Billie," Michael says hugging me tighter.  
"Michael I was in hospital for one day, no need to panic" I say laughing a little.  
"No Billie, you’re like the little sister I never had but always wanted. You make Ashton so happy and I just want you to stay safe and be happy because you really deserve it after everything you’ve been through and I just hope that the baby will love his uncle Michael" he says smiling after letting me out of the hug.  
"Okay Michael gave my fiancé some space, I’m sure she knows that she now has a multi coloured haired friend". Ashton says laughing bringing in the pizza boxes allowing everyone to take their desired pizza box.  
Luke quickly ran in grabbing his pizza box, running back into the living room but jumping over the soft and sitting down as mean girls began to play.   
"Luke do you like Mean Girls of something?" I say making everyone laugh. Only to get a loud ‘shh’ from Luke.  
Everyone had eaten there pizza and I got a few beers out of the fridge for the guys to have, letting both Zack and Cody in I decided to sit on the sofa next to Ashton but then quickly laying down and grabbing the quilt of the side. I laid there just looking up at Ashton and then looking around the room at the guys, I never thought I would be this happy, I never thought I would actually get another chance to be a mum and I never thought I would be sitting in a room full of friends, one blonde haired boy laughing to himself as he continues to quote Mean Girls, a black haired boy with a red Indian tattoo sitting on the floor basically being smothered by my two dogs, along with a mustard haired guy scrolling through his phone smiling and finally a green eyed boy who I only met yesterday playing with my beautiful niece, and finally Ashton, the only guy who I have ever completely been lost for words in love with. I couldn’t wait till kit was born to join us all.

“Michael, why did you decide to dye your hair?” I ask the boy sat directly in front of me “I liked it before”  
“The things is B, you have to keep up the element of surprise, it’d get boring if every time you saw me I had the same colour hair” He laughs as he shoves more pizza in his mouth “Plus, it looks fucking rad”  
“Chew your food Mike, Jesus” Luke sighs “Now can everyone please shut up, Mean Girls hasn’t finished yet”

As I snuggle up closer to Ashton, who now had decided to put his his hair up into a top knot, I can’t help but say   
“You’re hair looks sexy pushed back”   
“Don’t you start” He replies laughing “and thank you, I know it does” he winks


	31. My CEO

Walking out into the living room to see five grown up men sleeping on the floor is not something you see everyday, but my life was not normal.  
“Guys!” I shout, followed by several groans “Wake up! ”  
“B, please be quiet” Luke says “I have a hangover”   
“Shouldn’t drink then” I laugh “,I’m making breakfast, who wants some? ”  
Six hands shot up simultaneously, Ashton, Calum, Luke, Michael, Taylor and James.  
About half an hour later and eight plates of pancakes down, the boys except Taylor had all gone to work with James who was now an intern at Hi or Hey Records with much persuasion from myself, so me and Taylor were on babysitting duty, thankfully he didn’t mind playing princesses with Lacey so I could get some jobs done around the house. I cleaned the entire apartment from top to bottom and finally coming to the living room to the living room to see Taylor practically covered in princess stickers and a sparkly pink tiara.  
“Princess Taylor, how good to see you again” I say laughing and curtsying to him.  
“I think i have got about 600 stickers on me” Taylor says laughing too.  
“She has more somewhere just pray she doesn't find them!” I say smiling. “Where is she anyway?” I say looking around the living room expecting her to jump out.  
“She said she was gonna draw me a picture and then one for James” he says.  
“Awh, she's the nicest girl ever! I hope she'll be okay when the baby comes I don't really know how she'll react to the little guy” I say slightly nervous.  
“I may have told her you're having a boy...” Taylor says looking away avoiding my eyes.  
“I couldn't bring myself to let her know she wanted a girl so she could play princesses with so badly! What did she say?” I say more uneasy than before.  
“She's happy because now she said she will have a prince to play princesses with. She took it well” he says smiling at me. “I didn't mean to tell her I just thought she knew. I'm sorry Billie”.  
“Hey it's fine, you did me a favour I was scared to tell her! And I'm so glad she's happy too I just want everyone to be happy!” I say smiling as well.  
“Hey random question here too but when do you and Ashton get married?” Taylor asks.  
“I kind of put it off because of the pregnancy and I do not know if i'd look right in a dress with a bump?” I say more of a question to myself.  
“Are you crazy! You would rock it and Ashton would totally love it!” He says getting excited.  
“Do you want to help me plan it? We haven't thought much through and I can't find a dress and it's so stressful and I don't really have any girl friends so I have nobody to talk about girl stuff to”. I say.  
“REALLY? YES LET ME FIND YOU A DRESS!” Taylor says going crazy happy getting out his phone to find a dress.  
“I like the kind of traditional wedding dress, like cute and pretty but still looks good” I say looking at him.  
“I reckon I've got a good one then!” He says passing me his phone.  
“it's so pretty!” I say also noticing the lady's pregnancy bump in the photo.  
“She is 5 months pregnant which is two months away so you could get soon if you wanted to? Like before the baby is born?” He says smiling to me.  
“I think I'd actually like that, make us a real family then have the baby. Do you think Ashton would be okay with all that?” I say looking at the photo again.  
“Would I be okay with what?” Ashton's voice appears as him and the guys walk in the room.  
“You scared me, Jesus Christ! You guys are back early?” I say.  
"Sorry and yeah there's only so much paperwork I can't bare to look at he says with the guys laughing too. “Anyways what did you want to tell me?” Ashton says.  
“Well I've kind of asked Taylor to manage the wedding because I don't have and girl friends to plan it with and all that and erm well I've seen a pretty dress already and the lady in the photo is 5 months pregnant which isn't far away from my current state at the minute so I was wondering did you want to get married in like two months or wait for me to loose the bump and hopefully be slim again because I get it if you wanted me to be slim aga-” I say being cut off.  
“I'd be delighted to, you look perfect no matter what, you could have a huge bump or no bump I would love you no matter what” he says leaning to kiss me before breaking away with a smile.  
“Looks like you've got a hectic wedding to plan Taylor!” Ash says making us all laugh.  
——————

About two hours later and several wedding plans later Ashton finally had something to say  
“Can we get married in Florida?”   
“I don’t see why not” I say frowning “Why Florida? ”  
“My family live there” He says looking glum “I haven’t seen them since before I started drinking”  
I reach over to hold his hand “Let’s visit them before the wedding” I smile, Ashton smiling back “It’ll be lovely to meet the woman who created my beautiful fiancé”  
“My brother and sister will be there too, Harry is 21 and Lauren is 24”  
“I can’t wait to meet them all, they’re important to you so they’re important to me” I say before placing a small, delicate kiss on Ashton’s cheek.  
“Guuuuys” Luke moans “Don’t be gross”  
“How is your girlfriend, Luke” Ashton laughs “Getting all the kisses she needs”  
“Fuck you dude” Luke joins in laughing “I don’t know what’s up with her, she’s been really cold lately”  
“Ask her what’s going on” Taylor joins in “Ask her how she’s feeling”  
“I don’t think it’s that simple man, no offence but you don’t really have a lot of experience with the ladies” Luke laughs   
“I did date that cheerleader when we were seniors” Taylor states   
“Yeah, over a decade ago” Calum laughs “everyone knows you never screwed her”  
“Because I’m gay” Taylor laughs “I like dick”  
Looking around mine and Ashton’s living room at our little group of friends and my bump, I realise that although Chase is still around, haunting me, I haven’t been this happy or thankful for a long time and it’s all thanks to my Ashton.  
My CEO,  
My dominant,  
The love of my life.


	32. July, baby

Walking around mine and Ashton’s flat still hadn't quite sunk into me yet that we had our own place and the fact that only in a few months we would have a baby crawling around the place. Looking at the couch to see Ashton laying there asleep with a teddy bear made me realise that Ashton would be a cute dad and I couldn't wait for scan later today.  
\---------------  
The feeling of cold gel on my stomach was something that I still couldn't get used, knowing our little baby now had a cute name 'Kit Alexander Irwin'. I went from being nervous about the whole pregnancy to then being excited all in one go.  
“Seems to me like two are going to be parents of a very healthy baby boy” the nurse says.  
“Does that magic machine say when the baby will be due?” Ashton says.  
“This magical machine doesn't tell me exactly the date but I have been in this job a very long time and my magician skills tell me that he should be born around the 26th October” the nurse says.  
“Hey that's near the date we first met” I say looking at Ashton smiling.  
“You pair are cute” the nurse says smiling at us both.  
“Why thank you” Ashton says as the nurse wipes the gel of my stomach and I pull my top down.  
After basically saying goodbye to everyone at the clinic we then started to walk back to the apartment walking through Central Park where we have been so often.  
“Do you wanna get the guys and everyone round. I brought a film the other day and I think you might like it” I say smiling at him.  
“Sure thing, anything for my super hot baby mama” Ashton says making me blush.  
We got to apartment and everyone arrived shortly after and I quickly got Ashton to put on Big Hero 6 which was super cute so I knew he and the guys would love it.  
By the time everyone had finished watching it everyone was doing Baymax' famous noise.  
“Hey one of you guys text me real quick” Luke says and Michael quickly texts him as we l look at Luke confused.  
Luke's phone quickly made a noise which made us all laugh as it was Baymax's tune from the movie that Luke had brought for when someone texts him.  
“So I guess you liked the film then Luke” I say this time making Luke laugh as well as everyone else. “Do you guys want to go and get food because I know what my pregnancy cravings are... Chinese food” I say blushing.  
“Hey Calum where's the best Chinese place to eat around here?” Michael says laughing.  
“Fuck you man I'm not even Chinese” Calum says laughing himself, not taking offence to Michael's comment.  
“Yeah guys I really want Chinese food, let's go” I say as Ashton helps me with my coat and then lightly holds my hand as we l walk out our apartment to go and get food.  
\-----------  
“Okay guys I think it may be time to head back because Lacey is fully asleep on my arm and I'm tired too” James says in-which we all get up and head home, the guys going their own way whilst James, Lacey, Ashton and myself get a taxi back as it's now around 10pm.  
We get back to the apartment pretty quickly as it's only a few blocks away. James soon settles Lacey to sleep before saying goodnight to us leaving me and Ashton alone in the kitchen.  
“I love you, you know that right?” Ashton says pulling me into a hug in-which I resting my head on his chest.  
“I know that you do, what's brought all this on?” I say still leaving my head against his chest.  
“I don't know. You just drive me crazy! From the day I met you in the record shop I fell I love with you, you were so beautiful, you still are. I look at you now even with the baby bump and god you're so beautiful, there's nothing I don't love about you. You drive me wild Billie, I love it.” Ashton says making me blush like crazy as I pull away from his chest looking at him with a smirk on his face.  
“Bedroom?” I say leading Ashton to the bedroom, knowing that something would happen.  
We both quickly got to the bedroom not wasting time by taking any clothes off we both just lay on the bed cuddling, quickly met by Ashton kissing my neck deeply. My hands moved from his hair down to the top of his pants when Ashton stopped kissing obviously wanting to find out what I would do next. I just smirked and rubbed my hand over pants, obviously causing friction between Ashton and the fabric, causing light moans to escape his lips.  
“Billie I swear you drive me crazy, I” Ashton says before returning his position kissing my next and trailing his hands up and down my body squeezing my boobs a few times.  
We both pull away quickly as the bedroom door creeks open for us only to be surprised by Lacey.  
“Shi-” Ashton says before I cut him off quickly.  
“Lacey you okay?” I say patting the bed for her to join us.  
“I had a nightmare and daddy is too tired to wake up” she says crying. “I had a bad dream Ashtun” still crying but making us smile as she said Ashton's name wrong.  
“Want me to fight away the monsters” Ashton says laughing as does Lacey.  
Looking at my with sympathetic eyes, he mouths 'tomorrow'  
“Yes please” she says as she climbs into bed with me not minding if she was allowed or not. “Why are you not in pyjamas it bed time you have to wear pyjamas” Lacey says confused.  
“We're too tired, a bit like your daddy” I say smiling at her, tucking her in bed along with myself.  
“I think it's time we all get some sleep now those monsters have gone away” Ashton says as he gets into bed himself.  
“Ashton will you make sure no monsters get me in the night?” Lacey finally asks.  
“I promise nothing bad will happen to you” he says making me smile because he said exactly the same to me about Chase and I feel completely safe.  
“Goodnight Ashton” I say before looking over at him I'm a deep sleep making me laugh.  
"Goodnight Lacey" I whisper to the little girl snuggled next to me "I love you."  
"I love you Billie" She says putting her tiny hand in mine "You're the bestest"


	33. Twirling Tounge Tornado

Waking up to see Lacey cuddled up to Ashton was the cutest thing I had seen all week. To think that in a few months he would be cuddling up to our own baby was a crazy thought.   
“Good morning Billie” Lacey whispers in my ear. “Can you make me waffles?”.  
“Sure. I can make you the best waffles you know”. I whisper to the little girl who was currently rubbing her eyes.  
“I love waffles”. She smiles.  
James decided he was going to move out of ours and buy a little apartment for him and Lacey. So me and Ashton were alone for the next few hours.  
“Ashton”. I shout through the apartment wondering where he had disappeared off to “Where are you?”. With no response I choose to check the en-suit.  
As I approached the bedroom, I heard slight moans that got louder the closer I got to the bathroom. I knew exactly what was going on behind the door, did I really want to go in?   
“Ash?” I whisper as I slowly open the door.  
“Fuck Billie, I-I” he says quickly pulling a towel over his body to hide his quite evident erection.

Before he could say anything else I dropped to my knees  
“Oh fuck” Ashton says under his breath as I bring him into my mouth slowly dragging my tongue down the underside of his throbbing cock. Reaching his hands down, ashton tangles his long fingers into my bed hair   
“Jesus, Billie” He moans huskily “I need to fuck you”  
I say nothing as I take more of Ashton's dick into my mouth, then pulling out and swirling my tongue at his very tip. One of hands begins to massage his balls whilst the other slowly moves around his ever throbbing dick whilst running my tongue along it, increasing the enjoyment Ashton was currently feeling. I deepened the intensity struggling to take all of him in.   
“Shit B- I c” Ashton struggling to hold it all back.  
“Daddy” I say then kissing his tip, signalling him to let go.  
“Holy Fuck” Ashton says, breathing deeply.  
Not hesitating I swallowed Ashton's cum, before slowly pulling away from him, still on knees looking up at him on my knees wiping my mouth with my hand.  
“Billie, come here right now” he says in a husky voice.  
“Daddy that's not my name” I say rising from my knees rubbing my hands up his toned body.   
“Baby girl you know the consequences of talking back to me” he says slipping his hands around my waist.  
“I don't remember the consequences, show me daddy” I say moving away from his hands slipping off my night dress leaving me naked.  
Ashton's eyes widened with a smirk on his face as he pulled me towards the shower. My hands quickly trailed up his wet back as the water splashed down his back, enjoying my sudden crave to tease I moved my hands to his hair making him moan into my neck. Ashton turned me around my hands against the wall in front of me, kissing the back of ear moving down the back of my neck leaving his mark and quickly moving his hands to my heat.   
“Ash I can't wait, please” I say weakening at the knees.  
“It's daddy to you, and only because you said please” he says turning me around and trying to lift me up by sliding his hands under my legs.  
“Ash I'm not as light as before and not that flexible” I say with us both laughing.  
“God I love you” he says pushing into me slowly making sure I was okay seeing as I was pregnant.   
Our 'shower sex' lasted about fifteen minutes before I could no longer take it, my body shaking with pleasure.   
“Ash I feel sick” I say quickly sitting on the edge of the bath.  
“What? Wait it's not the baby is it?” He says quickly coming over to me and kneeling in front of me.  
I move him out of the way as I'm then sick in the toilet, struggling to lean over the toilet with my bump. Ashton soon comes over to hold my hair back.   
“I think it's because I swallowed” I say blushing, wiping my mouth before covering my face laughing.  
“Are you serious?” He says laughing helping me up and pulling me into a hug laughing.  
“Don't laugh I feel awful, god if you don't pull out I'll get pregnant, if I swallow I'm sick, I swear your sperm can kill” I say laughing.  
“talking of things that can kill, what the hell was with your tongue I about died, you have a twirling tornado tongue” he says laughing at what he just said.  
“Don't make me laugh I'll pee” I say as I hug him tighter.  
“Whatever you did earlier, I want you to it all the time because, shit, I can't wait another 5 months for something like that” he says.  
“Shut up you idiot, I love you” I say blushing  
“I love you too idiot” Ashton states.  
“James is coming home soon” I laugh “We need to get sorted before then”  
“I hope he finds a place” He also laughs “I need to bang my baby girl more”  
———————

James and a very very sleepy Lacey came home at around five, with a very successful house hunting trip under their collective belts, a nice little apartment on Park Avenue was their new home, which he deserved after everything, the divorce, the addiction, Aaron’s death. I was very proud of him for not relapsing.

“I’m going to make our dinner today” I say jumping off the sofa, where James was laid down staring at the ceiling and Lacey was curled up on Ashton’s lap playing with his ‘long princess hair’.

“Can you make me nuggets?” Lacey asks “I really love nuggets”  
“I can work my princess magic” I smile before kissing Ashton on the head.  
“I can just eat you?” Ashton smirks “You taste good”  
Before I could express my disgust at his comment, James beat me to it   
“Dude, that’s my baby sister” he laughs  
“Hey!, I’m only two minutes younger than you!” I say   
“Still my baby sister though” He laughs  
“Still my sucky ass big brother” he joins in his laughter.

My perfect little family.


	34. Scandals

5 months, 5 months to go until I get to meet my baby boy, I could not be happier.

‘I’ve gone to work baby girl,  
I have loads of paperwork and meetings.  
I love you and Kit unconditionally’

I didn’t like being home alone, everyone was at work and James had enrolled Lacey into elementary school, so, alone I was, well apart from Zack and Cody.  
Just as I was about make some breakfast and get the dog's food ready, I my phone vibrated with a text.

*1 new message - Tay-Tay*  
‘Hey Bean, I was at Nectar Coffee Shop and I saw someone reading People and a picture of you was on the front saying ‘The REAL Billie Cooper’ so I went and brought one and it’s not very nice, do you want me to come over with it?’

Taylor had drunkenly decided that we were best friends, and best friends have nicknames for each other, so I was officially ‘Billie Bean’, Bean for short and of course he was ‘Tay-Tay’.  
I text him back a polite ‘yes please’ even though I know exactly who is behind all of this, Chase.

About 15 minutes Taylor rang the door, I always made sure the door was locked whenever I was alone.  
“Hey Bean” He says embracing me in a warm, tight hug “I’m sorry”  
“You’ve done nothing wrong, I know it was Chase” I sigh “It could only be him”   
We both sat on the sofa and stared at the front of the magazine, it was me, when I was 19, laid on Chase’s bed, in my underwear for the whole world to see. ‘The REAL Billie Cooper - How business mogul Ashton Irwin’s fiancée is an abuser ’ graced the front cover.  
“I never abused him once” I whisper “I only reacted in self defence” tears rolling down my cheeks  
“I know you didn’t babe” Taylor says wrapping his arm around me and pulling me towards his chest “We’ll sort this”  
“He knew I hated how I looked” I sigh “he took this picture to show me how ‘beautiful’ i was”   
“Do you want to call Ashton?” Taylor says passing me my phone that was on the table.  
As I got up to ring Ashton, the phone in my hand started ringing, caller ID reading ‘My Love’  
“Hey” I say to Ashton down the phone “I assume you’ve seen the latest issue of People Magazine? ”  
“I have” He sighs “Billie, I know you will say no but you need to come to an interview with me to set this straight”  
“Ashton, I don’t know” I say looking over my shoulder to see Taylor playing with Zack and Cody “It could aggravate him even more”  
“It will get your side of the story across, the truth.” he says “I know this is hard but do you still have proof of the miscarriage, like a document with what caused it, do you have scars anywhere that he gave you?”   
“I have the scan pictures and a form that say I lost the baby, no solid proof though” I sigh, for what felt like the hundredth time.  
“Billie, we do have something against him” He says, almost shouting at whatever idea he’d had “We have witnesses”  
“Luke!” I almost scream “and Lacey”  
“I’m pretty sure the cops can listen to old phone calls too” he says to me “Maybe Lacey said what was going on to Luke? ”  
“When will this interview be?” I sigh. Yet again   
“As soon as possible, I can get one directly with People this afternoon”  
“Okay, let’s do it” I say “I love you”  
“I love you too doll” He says down the phone I could only imagine how big his smile was the other end “I’ll pick you up at 2, say hey to Taylor for me”  
I hung up the call and walked back into the front room and explained everything to Taylor, who left at about 1:30, so I spent the rest of that time getting ready for this interview.  
*Ashton, I don’t have any nice maternity clothes x* I text Ashton  
*There is a box in the bottom of the wardrobe, in there is a navy dress and some shoes x*  
Doing as Ashton had said I looked at the black box that was slightly open at the bottom of the huge wardrobe.  
Ashton came home at bang on 2 o’clock and we set off.  
“Ashton I'm nervous I mean what if nobody believes me? I've already been embarrassed and tortured enough by Chase I don't want to be seen as a liar too" I say getting upset.  
“Listen to me, people will see you're telling the truth, with Luke and Lacey as witnesses to it will help and you have me to, I promise this will get sorted” Ashton says.  
“Hey guys, I literally got a taxi over here and told the guy to stop off so I could get Lacey”. Luke says shutting the door behind him.  
“Thanks Luke. Hey Lacey can you be super strong and tell the people here what happened when I told you to hide that day? If I get upset I don't want you to be upset okay?” I say.  
\-------------  
“Hi guys I'm Miranda, I hear you're here to get things straight with the magazine published earlier”. She says smiling and shaking our hands and waving at Lacey.  
“Yeah, it's a long story but this needs sorting” Ashton says.  
“Let's get going then” Miranda says.  
She leads us into a room full of paparazzi, and a table full of microphones in front of it. We all take out seat and the lights turn our way and Miranda sits behind a camera with a microphone too. The camera man simply moves his hands in a 3,2,1 motions signalling it's recording now.  
“Hi I'm Miranda and you're here with the people magazine. Ashton Irwin and Billie Cooper are here with me now with guest Luke Hemmings and Billie’s niece who obviously is a child so her privacy will remain anonymous and when this video goes out her face will be blurred out. “So guys what's been going on? Our reports show you have had many accusations made against the pair of you since you've been together but by who? Who wants you to split? What's the big secret behind your relationship that you're hiding from us?” Miranda says in a rude manner.  
“I-I” I didn't know what to say so just looked at Ashton and he held my hand so I began to talk again. “I know there has been many things said about me, and none of them are true. Some of things I'm going to say I've never told anyone but Ashton and when I say those things I don't want my niece to be in the room” I stop and look to Luke who nods and takes Lacey out the room and just turns back to us and say 'I'm gonna go get a cheeseburger or something from the cafeteria downstairs, I'll be back in like 15 minutes'. “Anyways, like I was saying I've never told anyone other than Ashton a lot of these things and it's hard for me to say this but, I have to sort things. Before I dated Ashton i dated a guy called chase, we dated for about two years and at first we was fine but then he began to get more controlling and wouldn't let me do anything with my friends even going crazy if I left the room. I used to make him dinner for when he came home and one time he came back drunk and took the plate and thrown it to the wall. I used to be scared of him as he began to get more physical, I had bruises covering me from head to toe, I couldn't even see my own family because of the bruises. He used to be controlling in the bedroom too in a bad way, I go pregnant and things seemed to calm down until he got drunk again and attacked me again making me loose the baby, I had to lie about the way I lost it so he wouldn't get in trouble because I knew what he would do to me. We split not long after that and he stalked me trying to get me back and made my life a misery. I met Ashton and yeah things went great and still are. We deal with the drama he gives us but things are going too far. The truth is my ex chase is a stalker and an evil person who beat me and made me lose my baby. Now I've moved on from him and me and Ashton are expecting a son he is trying to ruin me again and Ashton, and I'm not letting him win. Not so long ago chase also came into mine when I was looking after my niece and tried to attack me but he couldn't hurt her and she didn't come out till I told her to which caused me to almost lose this baby, and on another occasion he pushed his way into mine and tried to attack me and wrapped his hands around my throat when I was moving to Ashton's but Luke was helping me move and basically got him off me and got him to leave, that's why I brought them incase you didn't believe me. I would like to leave now if that's okay? Now you know my whole life I kind of want to get on with it again”.   
“Erm, yeah, I mean wow okay we will get this published today after we speak to your niece and okay sorry, thank you Ashton and Billie and that's it with your part of the interview” Miranda says not really knowing what to say from what I said.  
Luke and Lacey walked back in to the conference room   
“Lacey, you are going need to speak to Miranda about the night I asked you to hide and call someone okay?” I say wrapping my arms around her to feel her nodding her head into my chest and whispering a quiet ‘okay’  
“Hello, how are you?” Miranda says extending her perfectly manicured hand towards Lacey who looked at her hand in complete bewilderment before looking back to me.  
“She’s shy” I say to Miranda “She’s only 6”  
“I’m very sorry, I want you to feel as comfortable as possible, okay darling? ”  
Miranda signalled for the cameras to start rolling again   
“Can you tell me exactly what happened that night please?” She says smiling sweetly towards Lacey who was now sitting on a slightly higher chair than me, Ashton and Luke.  
“Me and Billie was watching sponge bob and there was banging on the door and I was really scared but Billie said ‘Don’t worry, take my phone and hide’ so I hided in the bathroom and I tried to call ashton and my daddy but they didn’t so I called Luke because he always play princesses with me and then I waited for Billie but I could hear shouting and Billie said the name Chase and I remembered him from when I was little and we went to the beach this one time and Billie didn’t play in the sea with me and she kept all her clothes on.”  
“Okay, thank you very much sweetie” Miranda says  
“We’ll leave you to it Luke” I whisper “Lacey deserves a treat”  
“Okay B” He says hugging me   
“I’ll text you the address’ I smile into the hug “Thank you”  
“This ends now” He says rubbing the back of my head.

This was it. We were one step closer to living a normal life with Chase out of our lives.


	35. Paparazzi and Tattoos

I was working today with Taylor. Ashton had briefed me on what to say if there was paparazzi there, which of course there was. As Taylor and I walked into the store through various shouts of my name and Chase's. We got to work. Taylor and I worked practically all day without a break. It’s not as easy as it seems there's always something that needs scanning or re-organising or someone that needs help finding some weird cd that was around years ago. The day had gone pretty quick which I didn’t think it would with all the paparazzi outside, I thought they would start coming in and asking me loads of questions but Taylor told me that they weren’t allowed as it was Ashton’s business and they would be trespassing or something.   
“Hey Billie you ready to finish up?” Taylor says as he goes into the store room.  
“But it’s only three?” I say a little confused as to why Taylor always wants to finish early, he usually finishes late.  
“Yeah but maybe we can go get some food because I am star-ving honey” Taylor says in some weird accent making me laugh.  
“Fine, fine, do you think you can wait for food till you get to mine? I usually wait for Ashton to come home so I can have some dinner” I say looking at Taylor with puppy eyes hoping he’ll agree.  
“Yeah Sure let's go” he says grabbing both our jackets and my hand and out of the shop where I lock up.  
“What’s the rush to go home?” I say looking confused.  
“Nothing I’m just super hungry and I can eat at yours, dur” Taylor says making me wonder why he is more joyful than usual today.  
Taylor and I had walked for around 20 minutes passing so many food shops making Taylor whimper in frustration over the fact he can’t eat till we get back home. The walk was so nice, just hearing New York in all its glory, people talking and the traffic, most people would hate it but for me it was a comfort knowing there was other people in the city so even when I felt like I was the only person in this big old city I know I’m not alone. We got to mine and Ashton’s apartment and I was confused as to why Ashton was home as early as he usually finished at like 6pm.  
“Why is Ashton home so early?” I looked at Taylor who was just smiling at me.  
“Go in and find out silly, come on” Taylor says opening the door and lightly pushing me inside.  
I got inside the apartment only to be surprised by my brother Alex waiting for me with his wife Quinn and their daughter Emmi.  
“What are you doing here!” I say as I run to hug my brother and the others.  
“Surprise my love” Ashton says walking over to me.  
“You planned all this?” I say smiling with a tear going into my cheek.  
“Yes because there is nothing worse than missing family and I don’t want you to be sad so I brought them here” Ashton says.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I say smiling at my brother.  
“It wouldn’t have been a surprise then silly” Alex says.  
“I can’t believe you picked them up from the airport and brought them here all without me knowing. Thank you Ash, this is hands down the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me” I say giving him a tight hug.  
Ashton made a light moan as I hugged him making me let go. He brushed it off and went over to talk to Alex who was speaking to Taylor.  
“Hey Billie we’re gonna take Emmi to the park and then when we come back I’m ordering Chinese food. My treat” Alex says leaving with Quinn, Emmi and Taylor.  
Ashton and I were soon alone in the apartment and he had quickly ran off to the kitchen looking into the cupboards. I pushed his arms lightly from the cupboards and closed them before jumping to sit on the kitchen worktop bringing Ashton closer to me.   
“That was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me Ash”, I say pulling him closer into a hug.  
“You deserved it silly” Ash say smiling at me and rubbing my bump.  
I looked down at Ashton’s hands on my bump and then looked at him and went in for a kiss which he returned and then deepened. The make out session got a little heated as I began to leave kissed down his neck and moved my hand to his trousers. Both of us not speaking only moans leaving Ashton’s mouth. I then moved my hands from his trousers to the bottom of his top and lifted it over his head and threw it onto the floor. Once his top was off I removed my lips from his and looked down to his ribs where I once hugged him earlier on.   
“So that’s why you made a weird noise earlier” I say smiling to see a tattoo on his ribcage under cling film wrap.  
“Fuck Billie you can’t just turn me on like that and end it. Shit” he says sounding a little frustrated.  
“What tattoo did you get, and why didn’t you tell me?” I say coming down from the kitchen worktop.  
“It was meant to be a surprise” he says looking at me.  
“What’s the tattoo Ashton?” I say a little worried.  
“It says Kit” Ashton says smiling.  
“You got the baby name as a tattoo?” I say smiling and going over to hug him.  
“You like it then?” he says hugging me back.  
“You’re the best person ever! I love you!” I say.  
“I love you too, I’m so glad you’re not mad about it” he says.  
“I could never be mad, it’s cute and I love you more and more each day.” I say kissing his chest. “Now let’s fix the situation


End file.
